They May Not Mean to, but They Do

No cover — Cathleen Schine, Cathleen Schine: They May Not Mean to, but They Do (2017, Picador)

304 pages

English language

Published May 6, 2017 by Picador.

ISBN:: 978-1-250-13212-3

(1 review)

"Joy Bergman is not slipping into old age with the quiet grace her children, Molly and Daniel, would prefer. She won't take their advice, and she won't take an antidepressant. Her marriage to their father, Aaron, has lasted through health and dementia, as well as some phenomenally lousy business decisions. The Bergman clan has always stuck together, growing as it incorporated in-laws, ex-in-laws, and same-sex spouses. But families don't just grow, they grow old. Cathleen Schin e's They May Not Mean To, but They Do is a tender, sometimes hilarious intergenerational story about searching for where you belong as your family changes with age. When Aaron dies, Molly and Daniel have no shortage of solutions for their mother's loneliness and despair, but there is one challenge they did not count on: the reappearance of an ardent suitor from Joy's college days. They didn't count on Joy suddenly becoming as willful …

"Joy Bergman is not slipping into old age with the quiet grace her children, Molly and Daniel, would prefer. She won't take their advice, and she won't take an antidepressant. Her marriage to their father, Aaron, has lasted through health and dementia, as well as some phenomenally lousy business decisions. The Bergman clan has always stuck together, growing as it incorporated in-laws, ex-in-laws, and same-sex spouses. But families don't just grow, they grow old. Cathleen Schin e's They May Not Mean To, but They Do is a tender, sometimes hilarious intergenerational story about searching for where you belong as your family changes with age. When Aaron dies, Molly and Daniel have no shortage of solutions for their mother's loneliness and despair, but there is one challenge they did not count on: the reappearance of an ardent suitor from Joy's college days. They didn't count on Joy suddenly becoming as willful and rebellious as their own kids. With sympathy, humor, and truth, Schine explores the intrusion of old age into a large and loving family. They May Not Mean To, but They Do is a radiantly compassionate look at three generations, all coming of age together"--

5 editions

GG reviewed They May Not Mean To, But They Do by Cathleen Schine

Review of 'They May Not Mean To, But They Do' on 'Goodreads'

3 stars

Managing aging parents, often remotely, is something that many peers my age are starting to face, sometimes while simultaneously raising small children and/or dealing with their own health issues. This novel provides a window into what that looks like. The protagonists have three parents in varying degrees of ill health, dementia, denial and stubbornness, including one who is financially unprepared to support herself. They navigate disagreements among siblings about what to do and, in the case of one mother, the flat-out refusal to go to assisted living. The story is told from different perspectives, including one of the elderly parents, so it helps foster empathy for everyone involved. Not ground-breaking, but charming and a pleasant read.

Subjects

Fiction, family life
New york (n.y.), fiction
Jews, fiction