Unexpected Joy of the Ordinary

This is a book that was recommended to me by my therapist, owing to the problems that I was having with life. It is most likely a combination of therapy and the desire to change/improve that had me reading this book.

The title of this review is deliberately provocative - we see so many things that say they're the 'cure' to things, and every single time we scoff at them because it's so not true, we have this problem and the only thing that can 'cure' this problem is for all of our problems to be fixed, for us to have what we currently do not have, and so on.

But is it true?

I realised recently that I've been going about life judging myself and defining myself not by what I have, but rather what I don't have. I don't have lots of friends, therefore I am a failure. I don't go out each week socialising, therefore nobody likes me. I don't have people reaching out to me, therefore I am simply unforgettable. There is no happiness to be had until I have these things.

However, this book (and by extension, my therapy) taught me that we need to stop thinking like this - and make a conscious decision to actually do so. By doing so, we realise that what we have is actually worth having, and there is a happiness in the ordinary things we do, see, hear, and feel.

Consider the people you know that you like - do you judge them by what they don't have, or do you judge them by what they have (which you also probably want)? The people you're thinking of probably also aren't necessarily happy, but you only see what they have and figure they have a decent lot in life.

This book gives extremely relateable anecdotes, stories, and studies to help us see that how we externally judge others (which is generally done with kindness, compared to ourselves) is how we need to start judging and treating ourselves. Catherine Gray herself is also supremely funny throughout the book, and I couldn't help just feeling a sort of happiness at the enjoyment of the ordinary things - because when you see them written down, you realise those are good, happy things, and they are present in your life too.

So, is this book the cure to depression and anxiety? Not really, but it's a great tool to help you overcome them, and the path to overcoming depression and anxiety is not to have our problems fixed - that's probably not possible - but rather to make peace with them and be grateful for what we do have, which surprisingly, is a lot more than you probably think you do.