Paperback, 244 pages
English language
Published Nov. 7, 2015 by PuddleDancer Press.
The latest edition of the communication guide that has sold more than 1,000,000 copies
An enlightening look at how peaceful communication can create compassionate connections with family, friends, and other acquaintances, this international bestseller uses stories, examples, and sample dialogues to provide solutions to communication problems both at home and in the workplace. Guidance is provided on identifying and articulating feelings and needs, expressing anger fully, and exploring the power of empathy in order to speak honestly without creating hostility, break patterns of thinking that lead to anger and depression, and communicate compassionately. Included in the new edition is a chapter on conflict resolution and mediation.
A simply life-changing book that I expect to read and re-read for years. I'm normally a fast reader, but there was no way to speed-read this, I was so engrossed, taking notes, and trying to essentially inhale the wisdom of this book. I think I'll let it lie a little, and then reread it in a month or so, to really dig into it, and try to implement it in my life.
NVC teaches you how to find the underlying feelings, needs, and requests of others and yourself. It's not easy reading, or easy to implement. It’s very touchy feely, requires patience with others, and honest vulnerability from yourself. I think most would agree it's worth it. The onus will be on you to bring NVC into your conversations after reading this—you won't be able to ignore it. I especially liked his takes on anger and de-escalation.
My take away (but wholeheartedly reccomend the audiobook narrated by him):
Observation without judgment
Witness and recognize what people say and feel.
Own your feelings, no one else is responsible for it.
In extreme cases, try this style to communicate: My need for X is not met, so that makes me feel Y.
* A request is a demand if only one option is ok.
"Nonviolent Communication" might be a bit eyeroll-inducing, the concept of "When you X, I feel Y" statements are a cliche at this point. But push through it, this book is invaluable in improving communication skills.
I'm not sure any book has had as much of an impact on my ability to communicate effectively with other people. True, it's not "in my nature" but I'm hoping to fake it until I make it with this stuff, because I've noticed a marked difference with how coworkers seem to view interactions with me after employing the skills this book teaches, not to mention improved communication with my wife and even better parenting with my children.
It really is a game-changer, it takes work to think and operate this way but the payoff is huge. Hopefully with time this will become second nature to me (fingers crossed) but until then even being slow and …
"Nonviolent Communication" might be a bit eyeroll-inducing, the concept of "When you X, I feel Y" statements are a cliche at this point. But push through it, this book is invaluable in improving communication skills.
I'm not sure any book has had as much of an impact on my ability to communicate effectively with other people. True, it's not "in my nature" but I'm hoping to fake it until I make it with this stuff, because I've noticed a marked difference with how coworkers seem to view interactions with me after employing the skills this book teaches, not to mention improved communication with my wife and even better parenting with my children.
It really is a game-changer, it takes work to think and operate this way but the payoff is huge. Hopefully with time this will become second nature to me (fingers crossed) but until then even being slow and deliberate with how I talk to people (including myself) to make sure I'm following the steps in this book is worth the payoff, everyone seems to really enjoy this manner of communicating, but I don't feel like a pushover. Even though my wife hasn't read the book, I can guide her through the feelings-based thinking when she's struggling with other people and it winds up really being useful.
The book itself is a little long-winded, it takes a bit too long to get to the point at times and you can feel things being repeated over and over. This may be to ensure that all readers have a chance to understand everything but it can be slightly frustrating when you feel like you get the material and want to keep moving on. Nonetheless this book is essential reading, I can't think of anyone I wouldn't recommend it to. Approach with an open mind and you'll be better for the experience.
Wow! Me siento contento y motivado ahora que cuento con las herramientas que he encontrado en el libro, me está siendo muy útil tanto para descubrir ciudad sobre mí como para comunicarme con los demás.
