satyridium reviewed The Dom's Guide to TIckling by Aaron Brown
Not for the Faint of Heart - The Art of the Tickle
4 stars
While this book focuses on the practice of erotic tickling, it also contains some BDSM basics like negotiating consent, safe words, safer sex and building trust between Dom and Sub. In his own words, 30 years of exploring tickling and BDSM and a myriad of questions about these topics prompted Eric11 to write this book. He writes from the lense of a man who loves men.
The focus of the first half of the book is on how to set up a scene successfully: Setting the mood, getting the Sub into the right headspace, and combining tickling with other techniques like sensory deprivation, bondage, and power exchange. He also touches on possible overlap with watersports. Atmospheric scene descriptions that can be found throughout the book provide inspiration for your own scenes. There are also practical role play ideas (e.g. frat house hazing, extracting classified information from a spy) and tips …
While this book focuses on the practice of erotic tickling, it also contains some BDSM basics like negotiating consent, safe words, safer sex and building trust between Dom and Sub. In his own words, 30 years of exploring tickling and BDSM and a myriad of questions about these topics prompted Eric11 to write this book. He writes from the lense of a man who loves men.
The focus of the first half of the book is on how to set up a scene successfully: Setting the mood, getting the Sub into the right headspace, and combining tickling with other techniques like sensory deprivation, bondage, and power exchange. He also touches on possible overlap with watersports. Atmospheric scene descriptions that can be found throughout the book provide inspiration for your own scenes. There are also practical role play ideas (e.g. frat house hazing, extracting classified information from a spy) and tips for setting up a tickle scene with a Sub who hasn’t tried it before as well as instructions on how to throw a tickle party.
The second half of the book details the art of the tickle. The author's thesis is that everyone is ticklish in some way, so the greatest challenge is to get the ticklee into a headspace that opens them to the sensations of being tickled. In his experience many ticklees are trying to challenge their tickler by blocking out ticklish sensations. The job of the tickler is therefore to (consensually) break through those defenses, partly by building trust and making space for being vulnerable, and partly by making use of all available skills. He discusses an array of techniques for different minds and body parts and tools (e.g. brushes, feathers) for maximizing your success. An important chapter is how to find ticklish spots on any Sub, how erotic zones often are also the most ticklish ones and how to pace a scene without wearing out your Sub too quickly. The book closes with directions to where to find the tickle tribe.
This book has been a breath of fresh air. I’ve been reading a lot of heavy stuff in recent months, and it was great inspiration to try something new in my play. I really enjoyed the deep dive into a kink I knew nothing about. Tickling is not only about making somebody laugh, it’s about reaching a hypersensitive state that simultaneously enhances your erotic pleasure. It’s also the ultimate experience of vulnerability for the ticklee who is helpless at the mercy of the Dom's ministrations. The author says himself: “Tickling, in my opinion, is one of the highest forms of sublimation; it’s control without pain. It’s an exploitation of parental programming at its base.” (p. 15) And his first tickling scene he describes as follows: “There was a rush of excitement as I heard him plead for me to stop. It was control. He had lost control and was truely helpless...and he knew it. [...] I had never experienced a headier sexual power exchange.” (pp. 15-16)
His instructions on are clear and concise, and it has been a lot of fun to try them out with my partner. My only real critique is the use of thumb ties and thumb cuffs in the bondage chapter. I’m by no means a bondage expert, but using those in combination with tickling where the Sub is expected to pull and thrash around doesn’t seem like a good idea. I myself am a very ticklish person and have accidentally caused some kicks to delicate body parts and headbutts in the past because I lost control over my body. I wouldn’t want to end up with broken or dislocated thumbs…
Another aspect that didn’t resonate with me personally was the sense of the Dom having to prove himself to the Sub. On multiple occasions, the author details how to carry yourself as a Dominant to be taken seriously by your Sub. He even says: “Frank never had a moment to consider ‘can this guy really dominate me?’ – and I can assure you, every Submissive who meets with a new Dom is wondering this from the beginning.” (p. 60) This notion felt strange for me personally. I wouldn't play with someone who didn't trust me to be a competent Dom, or was quietly waiting for me to fail. For me, a BDSM scene is a collaboration between equal partners that requires a certain level of trust and vulnerability on both sides.