markm reviewed How to Know a Person by David Brooks
Review of 'How to Know a Person' on 'Goodreads'
3 stars
Mr. Brooks has written a discussion of his approach to knowing about, listening, and talking to people. He has interest in the topic for many years both because of his own introversion and because of his career in journalism. The book is organized into general principles, communicating with people in various difficult and crisis situations, and a third part of assorted other ways to know people. The book is largely a self-help guide and contains a lot of advice that mostly seems good. At times I would agree with the author that it is wise.
What struck me negatively is what is negative in many self-help books; it is heavily referenced with ideas and quotes from famous psychologists and psychological studies. These ideas are often interesting, but many are non-scientific in that they cannot be tested, or, at least, have not been tested. So they amount to a number of …
Mr. Brooks has written a discussion of his approach to knowing about, listening, and talking to people. He has interest in the topic for many years both because of his own introversion and because of his career in journalism. The book is organized into general principles, communicating with people in various difficult and crisis situations, and a third part of assorted other ways to know people. The book is largely a self-help guide and contains a lot of advice that mostly seems good. At times I would agree with the author that it is wise.
What struck me negatively is what is negative in many self-help books; it is heavily referenced with ideas and quotes from famous psychologists and psychological studies. These ideas are often interesting, but many are non-scientific in that they cannot be tested, or, at least, have not been tested. So they amount to a number of ideas that Brooks has collected over the years because they please him or support his approach to things, but they often seem superficial or a small part of a much larger field of study. The studies I’m familiar with are not well-served this way, and their use reminded me of the Monty Python routine about the BBC show on how to play the flute. Blow in this end and move your fingers up and down on the stops.
There is discussion of personality types, but Freud is ignored (he is briefly mentioned as having been neurotic), perhaps because he dealt with psychopathology. Yet others with profoundly kooky ideas (e.g., Carl Jung) are quoted when needed. They are in the style of ... As a famous person once said, “Buy low and sell high”.
The author repeats the popular criticism of the Myers-Briggs personality classification as being scientifically unsound, but the alternative Five Factor Model is presented as a sound tested classification. These two systems have been shown to be highly correlated.
Finally, the author ends his book with a few pages of self-criticism, but he must realize that should he manage to become the Buddha, others would find him insufferable.