On Repentance And Repair

Making Amends in an Unapologetic World

by Danya Ruttenberg

Hardcover, 288 pages

English language

Published Sept. 13, 2022 by Beacon Press.

ISBN:: 978-0-8070-1051-8

(6 reviews)

A crucial new lens on repentance, atonement, forgiveness, and repair from harm—from personal transgressions to our culture's most painful and unresolved issues.

American culture focuses on letting go of grudges and redemption narratives instead of the perpetrator’s obligations or recompense for harmed parties. As survivor communities have pointed out, these emphases have too often only caused more harm. But Danya Ruttenberg knew there was a better model, rooted in the work of the medieval philosopher Maimonides.

For Maimonides, upon whose work Ruttenberg elaborates, forgiveness is much less important than the repair work to which the person who caused harm is obligated. The word traditionally translated as repentance really means something more like return, and in this book, returning is a restoration, as much as is possible, to the victim, and, for the perpetrator of harm, a coming back, in humility and intentionality, to behaving as the person we might like …

A crucial new lens on repentance, atonement, forgiveness, and repair from harm—from personal transgressions to our culture's most painful and unresolved issues.

Maimonides laid out five steps: naming and owning harm; starting to change/transformation; restitution and accepting consequences; apology; and making different choices. Applying this lens to both our personal relationships and some of the most significant and painful issues of our day, including systemic racism and the legacy of enslavement, sexual violence and harassment in the wake of #MeToo, and Native American land rights, On Repentance and Repair helps us envision a way forward.

Rooted in traditional Jewish concepts while doggedly accessible and available to people from any, or no, religious background, On Repentance and Repair is a book for anyone who cares about creating a country and culture that is more whole than the one in which we live, and for anyone who has been hurt or who is struggling to take responsibility for their mistakes.

https://www.onrepentance.com/
https://danyaruttenberg.net/books/on-repentance-and-repair

2 editions

Jonas reviewed On Repentance And Repair by Danya Ruttenberg

An invitation to change for the better

5 stars

We've all done harm. This book is about how to react - how to acknowledge and own the harm we cause, how to change for the better, how to make amends, apologize, and in the future in similar situations make different choices so we don't repeat the harm. Ruttenberg bases her work on the medieval philosopher and theologian Maimonides, specifically the Laws of Repentance he formulated in his Mishneh Torah.

She doesn't always agree with Maimonides, but she convincingly argues that the five steps he put forth are still a useful framework for repentance today, and not just in the context of Jewish communities and Rabbinic religious law that Maimonides had in mind. The experience of (having caused) harm and the need to repair and improve the state of our world is universal, and both the features of repentance and its effect are not tied to any particular culture or religion. Although the five steps of repentance are about what the perpetrator must do, the approach centers the victim's needs. The process aims not at returning to the status quo, stressing instead that repentance work must transform the harmdoer so that they won't repeat the harm.

Ruttenberg uses clear, calm language, with a few conversational sentences thrown in. Her writing is full of empathy - never mean, condescending, or judgmental from a self-proclaimed moral high ground. The book is well-structured and full of real-life examples used to great effect. Ruttenberg explores what useful repentance work might be (and what isn't) in various settings: interpersonal harm that concerns only few persons, harm that spreads into the public sphere, harm caused by institutions and even by nations.

I found the book illuminating and helpful. It encourages us to engage in the hard, but rewarding work of repentance and become a better version of ourselves.

SkipSandwichDX reviewed On Repentance And Repair by Danya Ruttenberg

Grateful for wider perspectives

5 stars

A view of repentance that is divorced from the pervasive combination of American protestant individualism and internet PR apologies was incredibly refreshing to read. Some very powerful observations, and a sharp eye on the dominant US culture that's tough to read at first but absolutely worth sitting with.