The Odyssey of Homer

I hated this book. To each their own, but The Odyssey was definitely not for me. It only got two stars because the translation was so fluent and clear- kudos to Richmond Lattimore. He's fine- but Homer and the Greeks? They were off their rockers. //The following review contains the spite only possessed by a 15-year-old forced to read a 390 page book about a total dick. Looking back it seems a bit immaturely written, but I can't say I disagree with the sentiment, so I'm leaving it up for a laugh. And also because Odysseus sucks.

THE GREAT HERO ODYSSEUS
Or should I say godlike? That's what Odysseus is emphatically called EVERY SINGLE PAGE. But I'm not seeing it. Maybe the Greeks meant it the way someone modern wouldn't take it. Maybe they meant he lied to people like Hermes, the god of theives and tricksters. Maybe they meant he cheated on his wife with every girl he met like Zeus (Zeus had problems). Maybe they meant he would slaughter anyone if the mood struck him like Ares, the war god. Because he did all of those things. And what did he do in between doing those things? He bawled his head off like a baby. Someone else suggested that perhaps Odysseus has PTSD, because he definitely has trouble adjusting to peace. And being alive and following normal rules of social behavior. Maybe all his behavior was acceptable to the Greeks. Fine by me! That still doesn't make it a classic by my standards.

THE WRITING
Like I said, Richmond Lattimore is a great translator. But Homer was a horrible writer. He switched POVs completely to tell me pointless information. He took all the greatest fight and adventure chapters and told them as a story within a story, which only distanced me from the action, and then had the audience inside the story interrupt the action to put in their two-cents. He repeated sentences, whole paragraphs, and sometimes even plot points within pages of each other. He NEVER GOT SICK OF TELLING ME THAT ONCE AGAIN STUPID STINKING ROSY-FINGERED DAWN WAS COMING AGAIN. EVERY PAGE. Towards the end of the book, I was just hoping Nyx would beat Dawn up or that Helios would get sick of having an introduction and fire her. And also, was Homer colorblin... oh yeah, he was blind. So were Greek ships really black with purple streaks on the sides? Was the sea purple and the wine blue in his time? I don't know. He probably didn't know either. Maybe he just thought it sounded nice.

THE PLOT
Okay, this isn't really Homer's fault. The story had been passed down for a really long time orally before anyone got it into their head to write it down. But I don't know why anyone would bother to pass all this down. I mean, we start out with Telemachus (Odysseus's son) in his house with his mom. He's been stuck there forever while his dad is gone and his mom's psycho suitors are taking over the house. He's old now- old enough to deal with the problem. Apparently it would be acceptable for him to have his mom to simply refuse another marriage, or he could ship her back to her dad and have him pick a new husband for her. But he does neither of these things. Instead he decides he's going to go on vacation and see if anyone knows what happened to his dad. And leave his mom in a house full of rowdy suitors who are getting impatient. :D Great idea! So he gets all gussied up and goes to tell the suitors and their parents he's leaving. They call him a wimp (because he is), and then he hops in a ship and sails off. Later on he takes a murderer onto his ship and returns home to find his dad. But that's later. First we find his dad (crying) on Calypso's island because he's kind of over Calypso and wants out. He gets saved by a bunch of gods and then stops by a bunch of people's houses on the way home. The only action there is in a story he tells (as I mentioned previously). Then he gets home, and with Telemachus he kills all the suitors plus half his staff. It's just not an interesting plot for the amount of time it takes to tell it. There's no suspense, no real danger, no... anything.

Now if you don't share my opinion, that's fine. However, I think The Odyssey is an outdated symbol of a culture which was magnificent but is pretty much dead. Because Odysseus killed everyone, probably. I don't see why I should have to read this in school or anywhere else. All it was testing was my patience, and the only thinking it invited was how much I wished it was shorter.