Strong Female Character

David Swinstead reviewed Strong Female Character by Fern Brady

Thank you Fern for writing this

5 stars

Content warning Full spoilers, I talk about which parts of the book really resonated with me

This book meant a lot to me. As a person who's always known I was different and often felt like an alien - much as Fern describes - it's taken me until now - just a few months shy of 40 - to finally seek help and start getting my mental problems properly understood.

While I can't empathise with Fern having an even harder time getting properly diagnosed than me due to gender, I certainly can empathise with the struggle of a GP who knows little to nothing about autism/adhd/much of anything else. My GP diagnosed me with depression and gave me SSRIs 15 years ago and wrung her hands of me. It didn't feel right at the time but I didn't have the mental energy or focus to fight that and push for a better diagnosis or a reasonable plan to move forwards. For all these years a part of me knew that wasn't right. Or at least that it wasn't the whole story.

Reading this book was important to me. I am not alone. It's not my fault.

Fern describes her feelings and the difficulties it has caused almost like I'm looking into a mirror. Especially the way she describes her difficulties masking and how hard it is for her to maintain, how much energy it drains.

She talks openly and freely about how hard she has worked over years to do a better and better job of masking and "being normal" and how this has become a big goal for her. I've been on the same journey, working on gradually "normalling out" as I age.

I know it's not about me. It's about her. But it's also about all of us. And it's about the systems that let us down.

Mental health problems are seen as something that you shouldn't talk about because it makes you weak. And if you do talk about them you're dismissed with "oh everyone does that don't be silly" or "maybe you're overthinking it" or "can't you just try to think more positive?" or of course the classic "you don't seem autistic you seem OK" (as if people have no idea how good at masking a person can become with years of practice and an ungodly fear of letting the mask drop and being found out)

There's no happy ending in this book, as there shouldn't be. The book ends with an acknowledgement that she has managed to muddle through so far, albeit with great struggle, and will continue to try her best to do so, but it will continue to be a struggle. This is all we can do isn't it? I'm rooting for you Fern. Good luck. It will not be easy but you can do it.

christa reviewed Strong Female Character by Fern Brady

processing

3 stars

To me this feels like a book written by someone who is processing her own life and fairly late diagnosis with autism and sharing with us in real time. It's interesting to process it with her, although I might have enjoyed reading a more reflective work that comes later more. Maybe that will come later! There's also a lot of overlap in content with her standup, which makes sense—we have but one life to draw from.

Some specifics about why it didn't fully land for me: - Memoirs where people give a lot of detail to childhood events that are hard to believe anyone remembering in such detail always rub me the wrong way. - It felt like each story in the book was forced to tie into to her late autism diagnosis from a narrative standpoint, and I wish there was more space to just learn about her and …

To me this feels like a book written by someone who is processing her own life and fairly late diagnosis with autism and sharing with us in real time. It's interesting to process it with her, although I might have enjoyed reading a more reflective work that comes later more. Maybe that will come later! There's also a lot of overlap in content with her standup, which makes sense—we have but one life to draw from.

Some specifics about why it didn't fully land for me: - Memoirs where people give a lot of detail to childhood events that are hard to believe anyone remembering in such detail always rub me the wrong way. - It felt like each story in the book was forced to tie into to her late autism diagnosis from a narrative standpoint, and I wish there was more space to just learn about her and her experience without the heavy hand.

I'd recommend if you like her comedy work or are interested in the book description, though!

marksutherland reviewed Strong Female Character by Fern Brady

Review of 'Strong Female Character' on 'Goodreads'

4 stars

A brutally honest report on growing up autistic and female in the central belt of Scotland.
It's a difficult book to write about, as there are ways our lives overlap which is what drew me to it, but the divergences and the extent of the trauma she seems to have suffered make any personal comparison irrelevant. The reading experience was a familiar background and setting, into which jarring and bizarre events are inserted, and occasional info dumps about aspects of autism that are used to cap off some chapters.
Her humor cuts through to counterpoint the horror, but the bitter, acerbic assessment of many of the people she's met often leaves a sour taste.
I wonder what this book might have been like with a little more time to reflect and refine, but it's probably better that we have it now to lift a mirror to the ongoing crisis autistic …

A brutally honest report on growing up autistic and female in the central belt of Scotland.
It's a difficult book to write about, as there are ways our lives overlap which is what drew me to it, but the divergences and the extent of the trauma she seems to have suffered make any personal comparison irrelevant. The reading experience was a familiar background and setting, into which jarring and bizarre events are inserted, and occasional info dumps about aspects of autism that are used to cap off some chapters.
Her humor cuts through to counterpoint the horror, but the bitter, acerbic assessment of many of the people she's met often leaves a sour taste.
I wonder what this book might have been like with a little more time to reflect and refine, but it's probably better that we have it now to lift a mirror to the ongoing crisis autistic women are suffering through.