Amanda Hardy is the new girl in school. Like anyone else, all she wants is to make friends and fit in. But Amanda is keeping a secret, and she’s determined not to get too close to anyone.
But when she meets sweet, easygoing Grant, Amanda can’t help but start to let him into her life. As they spend more time together, she realizes just how much she is losing by guarding her heart. She finds herself yearning to share with Grant everything about herself, including her past. But Amanda’s terrified that once she tells him the truth, he won't be able to see past it.
Because the secret that Amanda’s been keeping? It's that at her old school, she used to be Andrew. Will the truth cost Amanda her new life, and her new love?
An absolutely vital read, giving a first-person look at the transgender experience that de-mystifies the feelings and the details somewhat for the reader who hasn’t lived it while offering encouragement to those who have. Amanda’s story is a bit rose-colored at times—an intentional choice by Russo and a good fit for the YA style—but still offers much to learn about prejudice, ignorance, and self-discovery.
Hay cosas de este libro que son super típicas de una novela young-adult y cosas "poco realistas" pero es que me ha gustado mucho. Pienso que es un libro muy importante y me hace feliz ver una representación bastante buena.
Aviso, hay transfobia sobre todo en los flashbacks. Si consideráis que en este momento no estáis preparados para eso, no hace falta que leáis este libro ahora.
Through the use of flashbacks, If You Were My Girl gets the balance right between a story of acceptance and highlighting the risks of being a young trans woman in America. It is absolutely lovely seeing Amanda make friends in her new school and she gets to experience the normal firsts of an average teenage girl. Including love.
Yet, let's face it, it wouldn't be believable (sadly) if everything was perfect and rosy. The first thing we learn is that Amanda is being sent to live with her dad because she was violently attacked for using a women's restroom. What is it with America's obsession with toilet use anyway? I think toilets should be segregated by whether you can manage not to wee on the floor.
So the story bounces between hopeful future and the trauma of Amanda's past. Her road to transition started when she attempted suicide, not being …
Through the use of flashbacks, If You Were My Girl gets the balance right between a story of acceptance and highlighting the risks of being a young trans woman in America. It is absolutely lovely seeing Amanda make friends in her new school and she gets to experience the normal firsts of an average teenage girl. Including love.
Yet, let's face it, it wouldn't be believable (sadly) if everything was perfect and rosy. The first thing we learn is that Amanda is being sent to live with her dad because she was violently attacked for using a women's restroom. What is it with America's obsession with toilet use anyway? I think toilets should be segregated by whether you can manage not to wee on the floor.
So the story bounces between hopeful future and the trauma of Amanda's past. Her road to transition started when she attempted suicide, not being able to bear living as a boy any longer, or the abuse she gets for being who she is. This is a massive reality for trans people, faced with a bigoted society, especially when you're a teen. High school is tough enough if you fit in, any deviation is an opportunity for bullies to enact their insecurities on someone.
The tension grows the more that Amanda fits in. Will people find out? How will they react? Will she end up just where she started, scared to trust anyone not like her? It raises the difficult question of when or if to tell someone when there's a romantic involvement. Honesty is important but if rejection comes with exposure or violence, that choice becomes harder.
I liked the character of Amanda's father. He wanted his son to grow up like him, to want to share sports and hunting with him, and ultimately fit in, in his macho world. He becomes angry when Andrew doesn't comply, when Andrew does things that would be embarrassing if his circle of friends found out. It would be easy to write him off as transphobic, but as he learns to love his new daughter it becomes clear that he is scared for her.
The highly conservative Southern states are hardly welcoming places for LGBT+ people and it has got to be tough for a parent seeing their child put themselves through so much. The potential of social stigma and violence is high even if we would like to pretend people are good at heart. So, I'm happy to see this book explore what a parent goes through too.
There is a lot of focus in the flashbacks of Andrew liking "girl things". It does fleetingly touch on the horror at the thought of going through male puberty and so I hope that people who don't know any better don't read into it that liking traditionally feminine things is a key indicator for being trans. Boys get the raw end of the deal when it comes to gender stereotyping of toys and pastimes. Whilst we do regularly battle against pink things for girls, at least no one makes assumptions of a girl's sexuality if she plays with tanks or likes sports.
In her author note Meredith does state she tried to make Amanda as easy to accept as possible. So yes, she is feminine, loves dresses, hates sports and, most importantly, has genes on her side when it comes to passing. She is accepted, and loved, as a girl before anyone knows her as transgender. She also points out that is just one story about being transgender and doesn't represent the whole trans experience, because that is always a risk when there is so little representation about. It's a very moving and enjoyable book so I would really recommend it, whatever your view on the subject matter. You never know, you might change your mind.
