I kept trying to skim this but failed. Fortunately this is not tough going. I think the stuff that helped me most was:
- thinking about three different sub-conversations (what happened/how people contributed, how people feel, how people conceive of themselves)
- listen well & don't skip to solutions / telling the other person what you think before they feel heard
I think the whole listening well thing is one of those things that seems simple but actually hides a huge amount of complexity & power. This book kind of points you in the right direction but I think there's no substitute for actually doing the work.
Overall, fine but not mind blowing. If you haven't read other sorts of self-help and therapy books in the same vein maybe it's more exciting.
Published Aug. 7, 2010 by Penguin (Non-Classics).