interlibraryprone reviewed Love, No Matter What! by Komal Ahuja
A real mixed bag that suffers from inadequate editing
2 stars
I have such mixed feelings about this book. It has some lovely queer found family and heartwarming trans-intersex solidarity. On the other, the intersex representation left a lot to be desired - the token intersex character (who is not the protagonist) doesn't even seem to have a clearly defined intersex variation. The editing is also a problem. Overall rating: 2.5 /5.
Content warnings: rape, more rape, domestic violence, transphobia
The good: - Queer family - Trans solidarity - Intersex is not portrayed as a disease - Surgery is not forced onto the intersex baby - Police are portrayed as a problem, particularly for the hijra - Forms with only M and F sex options are depicted accurately as a barrier for many intersex people - An intersex story from outside the West
The bad: - The editing. So many typos, things coming out of order, pacing is all over the …
I have such mixed feelings about this book. It has some lovely queer found family and heartwarming trans-intersex solidarity. On the other, the intersex representation left a lot to be desired - the token intersex character (who is not the protagonist) doesn't even seem to have a clearly defined intersex variation. The editing is also a problem. Overall rating: 2.5 /5.
Content warnings: rape, more rape, domestic violence, transphobia
The good: - Queer family - Trans solidarity - Intersex is not portrayed as a disease - Surgery is not forced onto the intersex baby - Police are portrayed as a problem, particularly for the hijra - Forms with only M and F sex options are depicted accurately as a barrier for many intersex people - An intersex story from outside the West
The bad: - The editing. So many typos, things coming out of order, pacing is all over the place. - Plot inconsistencies. Too many. - SO MUCH SEXUAL VIOLENCE, it is A LOT - [SPOILER] The protagonist's husband is an cowardly pig that neither gets comeuppance nor comes around to accepting his intersex daughter. He faces no consequences for raping his wife. - [SPOILER] The ending reads like a fantasy. Things just go too well for the daughter's company, it felt like inspiration porn. - There's some victim-blaming towards the hijra
The disappointing: - A lot of conflation of sex and gender - We never find out what Devi's intersex variation is and the limited & vague descriptions reinforce misconceptions about intersex people - We see surprisingly little of Devi's interiority - The choice of protagonist. This is not a book about an intersex person, this is a book about a parent of an intersex child. I recognize there is need for media for parents, especially to get them to stop forcing harmful treatments on their children. I find it upsetting that parents can’t listen to actually intersex people directly, that even in a story about intersex it centres perisex experience. - Neira is lionized for having anything to do with her intersex daughter - [SPOILER] Meanwhile, Chandrani, who spends far more time acting as Neira's parent, is still treated as a secondary parent - there's a real bias towards biological ties above who actually shows up to do the parenting
I picked up the book because I couldn't find any reviews of the book by actually intersex people, and I was curious. As an intersex person I'm really on the fence about the book - I can see it being helpful in furthering intersex acceptance amongst perisex (non-intersex) people, but it does so in ways that work so hard not to rock the boat that leave me uncertain of how much it really accomplishes.