Love in a F*cked-Up World

so far doesn't feel that revolutionary? i'm also not new to relational books and talk about boundaries, childhood emotional wounds and polyamory/relationship anarchy though, so not sure if i'm the target audience

i will say that spade's bit in ch 4 about the newness of a relationship that speaks to our wounds and helps tend them/make us feel seen, but then as the relationship matures and everyday/capitalism/our true selves rather than only the best versions of us come through, the early stages of that relationship are no longer sustainable/feasible, made me think about a new friendship and how i think we both played into that. 

i'm also grappling with this previously held idea i had that i need to be building deep, "perfect" relationships with people who are able to hold the breadth of my needs (even with the understanding that it's not reasonable to expect people to hold the depth of them). i was upset after a breakup last year, and i thought the reason we couldn't make it work was because of our differing values and an inability to talk it out, so i shrunk my purview to only people who fit some specific values that were missing from the last person. very reflective of this now. 

So many books on nonmonogamy fall into the capitalism trap, while so many of the anticapitalist books don't talk about relationships. This book fixes that.

I found myself highlighting and making notes on so many pages, and I now have a lot to process.