The Hour I First Believed

The gut-wrenching first part of this book delighted me with absolute terror and anguish. I detested every bit of awfulness it depicted in the first part, but I couldn't stop reading, it was so well done. Then it became a miserable mishmash of personal history lesson that was, simply, of no emotional weight for me, and watching an unhappy person grow ever-unhappier, till, suddenly, he sees himself in the mirror? I mean, what? It's all very strangely poorly done, at the end. As if he'd grown tired, and why wouldn't he: the second part was so dull and drab and disconnected from everything and anything from the first part, it's worth questioning whether this ought to have been a single novel. The author's weaving did not cover the spots or darn the holes in the least. Three stars because Part 1 was 5 stars, and Part 2 was 1 star. (Really, I thought several times I'd just not finish the damn thing, I hated Part 2 so much. But I powered through it.)

When I first began this book, some of the contents bugged me. Some of the scenes were brutal. Often the language was offensive. Witnessing some of the activities and intimate moments portrayed was embarrassing and awkward for me.
But then I began to realize what the problem was: I believed what I was reading. [a:Wally Lamb|3505|Wally Lamb|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1220018823p2/3505.jpg] has written a brilliant novel that shows the plain truth about life--all of us do things we regret and all of us experience things that traumatize us, yet, the choice to hope, or not, is ours regardless.
What I began to realize is that if I knew this much detail about anyone, it would make me uncomfortable, and it should. Lamb's protagonist is so well thought out and detailed that by the end of the book I felt like I knew him almost as well as myself. I started the book thinking "I hope the whole thing isn't like this!" and ended with "It can't be over, yet!"
This book is not for everyone. It explores the darkness of the untold depths of human tragedy; however, it also touches on the truth within the gloom: There are always reasons to live and love.