Regretting motherhood

a study

243 pages

English language

Published Nov. 3, 2017

ISBN:
978-1-62317-137-7
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OCLC Number:
959032252

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"Women who opt not to be mothers are frequently warned that they will regret their decision later in life, yet we rarely talk about the possibility that the opposite might also be true--that women who have children might regret it. Drawing on years of research interviewing women from a variety of socioeconomic, educational, and professional backgrounds, sociologist Orna Donath treats regret as a feminist issue: as regret marks the road not taken, we need to consider whether alternative paths for women currently are blocked off. She asks that we pay attention to what is forbidden by rules governing motherhood, time, and emotion, including the cultural assumption that motherhood is a "natural" role for women--for the sake of all women, not just those who regret becoming mothers. If we are disturbed by the idea that a woman might regret becoming a mother, Donath says, our response should not be to silence …

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Review of 'Regretting motherhood' on 'Goodreads'

This was everything I want my nonfiction to be. Accessible but still academic. Well organized. Has a clear point. Sounds like the minimum, but I so rarely see it all come together.

There was a lot here I hadn't even considered myself even though I don't want to be a mother. I enjoyed the discussion of the idea of regret. Donath talks about how there are choices in life we are allowed or even encouraged to regret and those we are not. We are allowed to regret a career choice or a partner choice, but not motherhood. It's too sacred, too "natural."

I also appreciated how the mothers and the author went to great lengths to separate regretting motherhood from regretting the existence of the children as people. They love the children, they are glad the children exist, they just don't want to be the mother of these children or …

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Subjects

  • Motherhood
  • Regret