Hardcover, 304 pages
Published Feb. 8, 2022 by Ecco.
If falling in love is the peak of human experience, then marriage is the slow descent down that mountain, on a trail built from conflict, compromise, and nagging doubts. Considering the limited economic advantages to marriage, the deluge of other mate options a swipe away, and the fact that almost half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce anyway, why do so many of us still chain ourselves to one human being for life?
In Foreverland, Heather Havrilesky illustrates the delights, aggravations, and sublime calamities of her marriage over the span of fifteen years, charting an unpredictable course from meeting her one true love to slowly learning just how much energy is required to keep that love aflame. This refreshingly honest portrait of a marriage reveals that our relationships are not simply "happy" or "unhappy," but something much murkier--at once unsavory, taxing, and deeply satisfying. With …
If falling in love is the peak of human experience, then marriage is the slow descent down that mountain, on a trail built from conflict, compromise, and nagging doubts. Considering the limited economic advantages to marriage, the deluge of other mate options a swipe away, and the fact that almost half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce anyway, why do so many of us still chain ourselves to one human being for life?
In Foreverland, Heather Havrilesky illustrates the delights, aggravations, and sublime calamities of her marriage over the span of fifteen years, charting an unpredictable course from meeting her one true love to slowly learning just how much energy is required to keep that love aflame. This refreshingly honest portrait of a marriage reveals that our relationships are not simply "happy" or "unhappy," but something much murkier--at once unsavory, taxing, and deeply satisfying. With tales of fumbled proposals, harrowing suburban migrations, external temptations, and the bewildering insults of growing older, Foreverland is a work of rare candor and insight. Havrilesky traces a path from daydreaming about forever for the first time to understanding what a tedious, glorious drag forever can be.
I think I'd enjoy this more if I were a more prickly gal. Being proposed to on the wrong part of the coast of Spain is not really a problem I can imagine focusing on.
As someone who has been in two decade-plus-long relationships, I loved how well this funny, beautifully-written memoir captures what it’s like to be with someone over the long-term. “This is the moment that defines us. You, me, and everyone else. Not the end. Is your heart wide open? Are you loved? Can you stand still, and feel it?” My only complaint is that there’s a lot of “mommy” content (I already know having small kids sounds terrible, I don’t need to hear about it in detail), but overall, I would recommend “Foreverland,” especially if you already enjoy Havrilesky’s writing.
