Eduardo Santiago reviewed The Friend by Sigrid Nunez
Review of 'The Friend' on 'Goodreads'
3 stars
Maybe not a great idea to read two of her works in quick succession. Similar narrator: middle-aged academic woman with poor boundary assertion and little definition of her Self. Thoughtful explorations of suicide and loneliness. Intermittent sublime vignettes offering observations of humans in our element.
There were parts I loved... but too many other parts I just found tedious or unsatisfying. Her friendship with the Friend, I never understood at all: both he and she are too hazily drawn for me to feel their chemistry. I know that’s not the point, that we should just take it for granted, which I of course did at the beginning; but as the book progressed I found myself understanding their relationship less and less, and this distanced me from the narrative.
What really tested me was all the discussion of writing, and writers, and writing advice, and students of writing, and O.M.G. Sure, …
Maybe not a great idea to read two of her works in quick succession. Similar narrator: middle-aged academic woman with poor boundary assertion and little definition of her Self. Thoughtful explorations of suicide and loneliness. Intermittent sublime vignettes offering observations of humans in our element.
There were parts I loved... but too many other parts I just found tedious or unsatisfying. Her friendship with the Friend, I never understood at all: both he and she are too hazily drawn for me to feel their chemistry. I know that’s not the point, that we should just take it for granted, which I of course did at the beginning; but as the book progressed I found myself understanding their relationship less and less, and this distanced me from the narrative.
What really tested me was all the discussion of writing, and writers, and writing advice, and students of writing, and O.M.G. Sure, all of us love nothing better than to spend hours gazing at our navels in deep fascination. (I mean, I assume I‘m not the only one who occupies long weekends doing so... right?) We. Just. Don’t. Share. It. (Okay, except for this reeeeeeally amazing piece of lint I found one day - read about it in my bestselling trilogy). All the sections on writing, and the obviously-not-a-twist near the end, and the second-person switch in the last chapter, it was too meta for me. And I fully accept that as my problem, I’m not smart or clever enough. (Or, giggle, intellectual enough. Inside joke, sorry. Hi, S.!)
I was also dissatisfied with the way suicide was treated, but that’s quite likely because she did such a phenomenal thoughtful job in [b:What Are You Going Through|53812638|What Are You Going Through|Sigrid Nunez|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1591241818l/53812638.SY75.jpg|74855144] which I read before this one. Since WAYGT is a later work, I will assume she has matured. Still, having read them out of order, I felt disappointed in her earlier work. (Note to readers: no, there is no narrative connection whatsoever between the books. The only connection is authorial growth.)
Finally, a brief note about my biases: it pains me to imagine active working dogs living in big-city apartments. I tried to accept that part of the story with love and patience. I do not think that aspect was a strong factor in my rating—I think the factors above were by far my major gripes—but you and I are well acquainted with Feynman’s First Principle.
