Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey

“No seriously, he’s not f**king around, you really don’t want to be a writer. But if you’re mad enough to decide that you do, Wendig will be your gonzo-esque guide, from the technical advice about structure, query letters and submissions, to dealing with agents and editors and how to make your characters do as they’re damn well told, he’s full of good advice. Like a cursing, booze-soaked Virgil to your Dante, let him show you around. Buy this book, your editor will thank you.” -- Jenni Hill, Editor, Solaris Books

Want to become a novelist? A screenwriter? An all-around freelance penmonkey? Don’t know the difference between beats, scenes, sequences and acts? Not sure where to begin your edit, or how to query an agent, or what liquor goes best with the madness of being a writer? Then CONFESSIONS OF A FREELANCE PENMONKEY is all yours.

CONFESSIONS is a collection of 50+ essays on the subject of writing and the writing life. It covers a wide array of subjects, from technical advice to discussions of publishing versus self-publishing to what to do if you wake up pantsless and ink-stained in the basement of a Tijuana bookstore.

Equal parts hilarious, insane, profane, and profound, CONFESSIONS will take you through the many trials and tribulations of the penmonkey’s moonbat existence, offering advice every step of the way.

Features popular TERRIBLEMINDS essays:

…“Beware of Writer” …“Drop That Pen, Grab A Hammer: Building The Writer’s Platform” …”Exposing Yourself: Do You Write For Free?” …“No, Seriously, I’m Not F**king Around, You Really Don’t Want To Be A Writer” …“The Penmonkey’s Paean” … “Why Your Novel Won’t Get Published” …“Why You Won’t Finish That Novel” And more!

(TERRIBLEMINDS has been named one of the top 101 websites for writers by WRITER’S DIGEST magazine!)

What others have said:

"Chuck Wendig has done what so many authors desperately need and will never admit: offered a phenomenal book about the real world of writing, and made it reachable and readable by anyone. An absolute must-read for anyone even thinking of dabbling with words for a living.” -- Karina Cooper, Author of Blood of the Wicked

"Chuck Wendig's Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey is full of the kind of writing advice I wish I'd gotten in school. Practical, brutally honest, and done with the kind of humor that will make it stick in your brain. Whether you're a veteran writer or new to the craft, you'll find something useful in here. Plus he says ‘f**k’ a lot, so, you know, there's that." -- Stephen Blackmoore, author of City of the Lost

"In Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey, Chuck Wendig hammers out writing and career advice that's always brave, profane, creative, clever, and honest. And don't forget hilarious. You'll never laugh so hard learning so much." -- Matt Forbeck, game designer and author of Vegas Knights

“When a writer hits cynical, drunken, mother-hugging rock bottom, that's when they need Chuck Wendig's raw, no-holds barred advice. This is not for the faint of heart. But then again, neither is writing.” -- Mur Lafferty, host of ISBW (I Should Be Writing) podcast, editor of Escape Pod, author of Playing For Keeps

"Despite being irreverent, vulgar, and funny, Chuck Wendig is also surprisingly profound. From one wordslinger about another, Chuck is the real deal and every prospective or working writer should read Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey. Hell, the ‘Writer's Prayer’ alone is worth the price of admission." -- Jennifer Brozek, Author of The Little Finance Book That Could

“If you want to be a better writer, or just want to be inspired by one of the best takes on writing I’ve ever read, do yourself a favor and buy Confessions.” -- Daniel Ames, author of Feasting at the Table of the Damned