Darkhearts

It just seemed like that’s how you know someone loves you, you know? If they’ll fight for you—even if the person they’re fighting is you.

I've been on a messy YA drama books kick lately, and this is a great addition to the list. I was drawn in by the "friends to enemies to lovers" trope that I adore wholeheartedly, and while it wasn't exactly what I've imagined, I enjoyed the rendition. There's such a complex tangle of emotions between the characters and such a layered history to their relationship despite their young age, it was a delight to dig into. Both of them also felt very realistic, with pretty much exactly the amount of poop jokes and bottling up feelings you'd expect from a couple of teenage boys. And I also really enjoyed the side plot with Ridley, the MC's best friend: she clearly meant well in some aspects, despite her approach very much lacking nuance, and was incredibly shitty and controlling in others, and the way Holc treated her also fluctuated between "pretty bad" and "very reasonable," and it was so easy to lean into the toxic mess of it all, but they somehow got to a place that gave me hope their friendship might eventually persevere.

I enjoyed the discussion of the limitations fame places on a person, and generally the show biz-related parts. The name-dropping and pop-culture references that grounded the story in the specific period were fun. That kind of stuff really dates the story, but I feel like this book kind of benefits from focusing on, "this is how certain things were in the early 2020s specifically" in terms of things like the biz's and especially the public's perception of queer artists in particular. Also, it was just fun somehow to see some of the artists and songs from my own playlists namedropped on the page.

One of my favorite storylines included Holc's relationship with his father: how rocky it was in certain places, but how solid the foundation of it was underneath. The scenes Holc had with his dad's employees were also pretty awesome, between all the fun construction/carpentry details and the bonds he had with these people. I'm just sad that the number of these interactions dwindled down and lost depth as the book progressed in a way that felt low-key artificial: like the author really wanted Holc to come to some revelations on his own, so suddenly he was apart from all the adult influences in his life who could have been there for him. Also, that resulted in the "college vs apprenticeship" subplot being just. Completely dropped. Why.

Oh, and another thing I want to complain about is how Holc's "it's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me" epiphany came too late in the story. I wanted to see some pay off from those revelations, the process of him mending what he's broken and not just the fact of it. I really, really want to know what exactly happened between the final chapter and the epilogue. Actually, it's not even just about Holc and his relationship with Chance, I want to know what drove Chance to make that one certain decision at the end. Kind of almost feels like the story ended too early and is missing a few chapters before the epilogue.

All in all, the fun I had reading definitely outweighs my complaints, but the book does have significant structural issues in the latter half.