Changed

This book just showed in my mailbox, unsolicited. In it, the author gives a brief overview of his life: he was raised in a Jewish family, went to school in Switzerland, learned about sex, moved back to the US and met his wife, who was Christian. She was raped and became pregnant as a result. They decided to put the baby up for adoption. Later, Cantor felt pulled to explore Christianity, and eventually converted. After some initial resistance, his family eventually accepted this. He started a successful business. The end.

I'm sure Cantor intended this as a heartwarming story of how to find happiness in Jesus, but it winds up being an expose of how toxic religion can be. He tells of how his sexual experiences in school caused him to feel dirty, to the point of once having to take a two-hour shower, but he doesn't elaborate, beyond saying that the women he had these experiences with weren't looking for a long-term relationship. As best I can figure out, what made him feel filthy was casual sex.

When he finds out that his fiancée was raped, he talks about how devastating this is for him, and makes a point of telling us that he didn't dump her then and there. What does he want, a cookie?

Eventually they get married and Cantor can feel clean. Again, he doesn't elaborate, but what comes through is a picture of someone with deep sexual hangups. And while he may credit his religion for finally making him feel clean, it certainly seems as though it's what made him feel dirty in the first place. On top of which, I never got the sense that he sees his wife as a full-fledged person in her own right.