I sincerely began this book with excitement, but as I got through the first quarter of it, that excitement dwindle. Then I got to the halfway mark and I felt this book had dragged on too long already. I went a little bit further before deciding I was going to just move on.

In the spirit of the title for this book, I will be Not Nice, even though I really wanted to like this book.

The book isn't so much a psychological review of people pleasing behaviors and how it comes to be. Since I've already read some books about people pleasing, I didn't mind that it didn't talk much about how it is a coping mechanism from childhood stress and truama.

It seemed to focus more on how to overcome it so I kept going. However, while very small bits of the book I definitely feel like I will carry forward with me, overall the book was forgettable.

Especially because given how massive the book is, you'd think their would be some seriously deep analysis of the topics brought forward. Though really it's shallow and he tries to make it more relevant by talking about how so and so (some life coach) held a group and such and such place and there was a person in the group who shared a story about the topic he is talking about.

Now imagine reading that every few pages. The same format and everything. It was boring and I got tired of it. I could not focus on the book for very long. It's near impossible to sit and read this book for extended periods.

He tries to be funny, and I must admit it's not my humor. I can tell that if the author and I met we'd probably not vibe. Especially if he talks like he does in this book. He often mentions his other material (course or books), as if this book isn't already a lot. I'm not looking for coursework, I wanted a focused, deep analysis of people pleasing and how this author has helped other people overcome it.

When really you get a long book about his own personal journey. I normally wouldn't mind that because it is still a different experience than my own, but he doesn't talk much about how he's impacted his clients, and how they slowly changed. Just shallow stories. Stories about one off conversations. He doesn't focus very much on the, "how this person became the way they are" and then how they slowly became more "real", only focuses on how they had said one thing and somehow we are supposed to believe they changed after that one conversation.

He has a style of writing that I do not enjoy. He tries to sound motivating (think like Ted Talks), but it sounds as if he's saying, "If you don't do these things you'll never change". It's gimmicky and weird to read.

Hard would not recommend if you are looking for something analytical, deep, and nuanced.