I received a DRC from Edelweiss
TW: transphobia, dead naming, lesbophobia, suicidal thoughts
3.6

For Pony a new school is the perfect fresh start. When he came out as trans he received plenty of attention- some of it bad, some of it just annoying- definitely more than he actually wanted. Now, he can just be Pony, and maybe even cheerleader Georgia's boyfriend. The only problem is, he hasn't told anyone at school that he's trans yet.

Yet again I'm in the position of reading an educational book and appreciating the education its attempting to give, while also being wildly not the target demographic, so I can't say confidently whether or not it succeeds. However, the main goal of this book is not simply educating cis people, but to be the kind of book the author would have wanted to exist when he was younger. My answer to that, no matter how many times I hear different authors say it, is always that that's valid, and honorable, and I love the fact that it isn't actually some new, controversial book. I see a lot of people comparing it to If I Were Your Girl (which, cards on the table, I have not read), and though this is a criticism, I just see it as tangible growth.

Again, since I'm not the demographic, I have to decide whether to prioritize the educational merit versus my own enjoyment, and I'm definitely leaning more towards the education, which is mostly what impacted my rating.

Looking only at Pony, I appreciate that this isn't a book about the pain of coming out and grapping with identity, which is an important topic but also one that has been covered more often in the case of trans IDs, but instead is about your Identity and how it fits into your identity. Going personal for one moment, I hear people talking about people who identify somewhere on the queer spectrum about "putting themselves in boxes", or "making it their whole identity", ect, ect. Ignoring how incredibly frustrating and surface level that is, I think that this book works with that in a very effective way. Pony is the epitome of not doing any of that. He knows he's a boy and he's living as a boy, and though he joined a trans network in the beginnings of his self-discovery he has no apparent interest in being political about it. He doesn't want to be The Trans Kid, he doesn't want to draw any attention to it, he doesn't even want to post an article online that mentions anything like it. And that gets him nowhere. Because when you are this identity, you have to protect yourself by protecting your community. You may not want to be political, but the world makes your existence political. You may want to be the easy going, laughs instead of being offended, non-in your face queer person, but that will not help you, it will not protect you, and it will not make the world and easier place for you to exist in.

Okay, educational rant aside.
Pony is a somewhat likeable character, as much as a lens can be. I like his very fun sister, Rocky, a lot, and his parents are unfortunately very realistic. I also really like Pony's best friend, Max, both as a general character and as a different view into the trans community. The addition of Rocky also felt like a nice reminder to the closeted or simply bored to death readers that there is a huge world out there waiting for you, and you can go be accepted and crazy and do whatever you want as long as you actually take the plunge and live the kind of life you want to live.

The romance is just okay for me, though there are parts where it is sweet. Their chemistry isn't crazy, but it's not impossible that they would like each other. I expected Pony to have more of an effect on Georgia, honestly, and if he had then maybe their relationship would have seemed more real to me. Georgia is fairly flat, and not super likable, but they do go together.

I do have an issue with the writing in this book. It's not an over-all issue, but effected the story for me enough that I have to mention it. The intro to this book made me 100% think I was going to hate it. Jumping in with weird stage directions does not give me the impression that this is a cool character with an interest in film, it makes me feel like this is a new author writing a very obnoxious stock character. Now, Pony did somewhat grow on me, but he also is definitely kind of a stock character. His trans identity and his love of film are basically his only traits. So I was pretty much right with that one, and if I'd known it I may not have wanted to continue.
The beginning also has some weird POV switches that were confusing and unnecessary. Thankfully this doesn't continue in the story, but it did make me doubt the author to the point where I was always waiting for something else weird to happen with his writing style. (Which did happen a few times down the line).

Back to Georgia, because to be frank, I hated her. She's vapid, she's part manic pixie dream girl, part bigot, I just had 0 interest in her and 0 empathy for her. The romance would have hooked me more if I had ever wanted Pony to be with her because even though Pony isn't the most 3 dimensional, Georgia is way worse, and part of her characterization is transphobia.
I recognize, also, that not all people are going to react well to learning someone is trans, and some people are going to need time for it to sink in, but in order to show that and still have the character be likable, you need to be careful with how its handled. The end result for me was a vague disgust with Georgia that never went away.

Also, there's a flatness to the context the characters are in. Politically its fine, the side story of the actor is kind of odd, but the general background is overdone and unexplored. The characters are transphobic as the default, which sucks, and there's that classic "cheerleader & jock run the school" trope that, if it was ever real, hasn't been for a decade at the very least. It feels like there's a narrative pasted over the general, stereotypical "YA teen" settings and roles, and it makes the whole thing less interesting.

This book is not perfect. This book is not a masterpiece. But it is an #ownvoices story about a trans teen, dealing with real life problems and with showing trans people existing without an asterisk or a promised bad ending. And we deserve that!