I decided to read this book after it was recommended to me by a few of my high school students. I began watching the Hulu series after finishing the book. Just as a general FYI, the Hulu series takes so many liberties with Ng's story that it is almost an entirely different narrative.

At the core of this book are two characters—Elena and Mia—who represent two different worldviews about what constitutes the "good life." Elena is the obsessively organized, upper-class woman who believes in behaving morally (or following the rules) primarily out of fear of being punished. In this case, the punishment would be making the "wrong choices" that would lead to an undesirable socioeconomic livelihood. That she follows the rules for fear of being punished is a key distinction, because Elena is the type of person who will maintain the appearance of being a "good person" and "doing the right thing," while not finding it beneath her to stoop to questionable activities in her private life that technically transgress moral and ethical boundaries.

Mia, on the other hand, is a single mother and an eccentric artist who seems to reject all of the middle-class, suburban strictures that Elena cherishes. I suppose Mia and her daughter Pearl are African-American or perhaps Asian (I cannot remember if the book is really clear on this point), but themes revolving around race and white privilege are no where near as pronounced in this book as they are in the Hulu series. In reality, its neither here nor there, because what Mia really represents is someone who seems to flaunt or ignore all the requirements of the "good life" according to Elena—a nuclear family, a stable household, stable employment—yet nevertheless seems to find happiness and successfully raise a well-adjusted and articulate daughter. Although Elena seems to perceive Mia as being immoral, in reality the two women operate under the same governing principle of taking actions that protect themselves or their families even though in the abstract these moves are quite unethical.

Mia and Elena represent extremes at both ends of the spectrum, but function in ways that we can find both familiar and revolting depending on our particular perspective as the reader. It is likely that readers can identify with many aspects of each character's moral worldview while rejecting other parts.

Another major theme in this book that I found quite illuminating as a parent is the question of whether our children are ever really our own. I do not mean this in the biological sense—although the distinction between biological motherhood and adoptive motherhood are important in the context of the book—but more in the sense of do we really ever have control or "ownership" over our children as they age? How should parents best ensure their children's happiness? Can they prevent bad outcomes? Mia and Elena are both unsettled, to a certain degree, because each of them have a daughter who finds the other mother more appealing. Pearl (Mia's daughter) is drawn to Elena's grounded, stable motherhood and willingness to openly show affection. Izzy (Elena's youngest daughter) is drawn to Mia's rebellious, cut against the grain persona and her artistic inclinations. In both cases, each mother is finding it difficult to balance their intense love for their children against the knowledge that their children are maturing into young adults and deciding whether to adopt or reject the moral, ethical, and social worldview of their parents. Of course, all of this is set against the backdrop of baby May Ling/Mirabelle whose custody battle between the biological and adoptive mothers raises an entirely new set of questions about the definition of motherhood.

This is a good read. On the surface, it appears to be a straightforward, banal and slightly dystopic criticism of suburban conformity in white America, but upon a closer examination can raise important questions in ourselves about a) what it means to live a "good life" and b) what it means to be a parent and the dynamic between parents and older children.