This was everything I want my nonfiction to be. Accessible but still academic. Well organized. Has a clear point. Sounds like the minimum, but I so rarely see it all come together.

There was a lot here I hadn't even considered myself even though I don't want to be a mother. I enjoyed the discussion of the idea of regret. Donath talks about how there are choices in life we are allowed or even encouraged to regret and those we are not. We are allowed to regret a career choice or a partner choice, but not motherhood. It's too sacred, too "natural."

I also appreciated how the mothers and the author went to great lengths to separate regretting motherhood from regretting the existence of the children as people. They love the children, they are glad the children exist, they just don't want to be the mother of these children or any others.

I feel very lucky to have realized this about myself in time - before I went ahead and had kids because you're "supposed to" which is how I was initially feeling. As the women in this book note, there's no going back once you've had them, and it's a lifelong role, so you have to deal with this loss for the rest of your life.