CHILDREN DON’T NEED TO BE TREATED EQUALLY. THEY NEED TO BE TREATED UNIQUELY.
Instead of giving equal amounts “Here, now you have just as many grapes as your sister.” Give according to individual need “Do you want a few grapes, or a big bunch?” Instead of showing equal love “I love you the same as your sister.” Show the child he or she is loved uniquely “You are the only ‘you’ in the whole wide world. No one could ever take your place.” Instead of giving equal time “After I’ve spent ten minutes with your sister, I’ll spend ten minutes with you.” Give time according to need “I know I’m spending a lot of time going over your sister’s composition. It’s important to her. As soon as I’m finished, I want to hear what’s important to you.”