Braaaandon! I should know by now that I can never judge one of his books before it ends. The last 20% was a brilliant Sanderlanche that redeemed my immediate thoughts on it and would probably make it more enjoyable on a re-read. You did it again Sanderson and I will never learn!

When I'd joined the DDF as a pilot, I'd imagined glorious battles and storybook heroism. I'd imagined new worlds to conquer. Instead I'd found pain. Friends dying. People struggling at the end of their stretched-thin nerves. I'd found complications, anger, fear.

Sanderson wanted to call this book Nowhere and while that would have been a perfect title, Repetition felt more accurate.

Spensa finds herself out of her depths in an uncomfortable situation, gets to pilot a ship, trains others and finds victory. The end.

Was that the plot from Starsight or Cytonic? Or both?

I was enjoying Cytonic but it felt repetitive and I worried that all of the characters would be transient once Spensa moved on. Starsight introduced characters and they remained in future novellas, but the Nowhere felt temporary. Around the 60% mark I had to check the book score to see what others rated it because it felt like the weakest of the series.

And then there was a distant rumble. A familiar sensation you come to love. The first hint of a twist or surprise appeared as you saw the climax in the distance. Yes, the Sanderlanche was upon us and the revelations about Delvers, Cytonics, AI's, Chet, M-Bot, EVERY. SINGLE. THING. was flowing and the book stormed to the finish.

As Spensa eases on her constant "death to my enemies" cockpit threats there are now introspective musings and interactions with those around her. Quite elegantly Sanderson has created a series that deals with difficult human emotions, breaking preconceptions about others, and then jumps straight to existentialism without a parachute.

On the surface this is a very safe and enjoyable book with action sequences and imaginative concepts but hiding right beneath those waves is a story with heavy and deep questions.

A book that has: I could do worse than having a dedicated gerbil-fox samurai following me about. flips the table and makes me feel like I am Inside Out (Disney) with: What's the purpose of emotions if so often we have to deliberately act counter to what they're telling us?.

I should never doubt Sanderson. He has a plan and can connect threads that I wasn't even looking for. While the Nowhere felt like a wistful dream I can't imagine we would spend an entire book here and not have any characters return to Skyward 4/Defiant.

M-Bot leaving Spensa in the Nowhere. Ugh! Even writing that sentence out brings up goosebumps. How can I feel such things between a ship and a pilot? Because there is always more to the surface and Sanderson tapped in to some very strong and heavy emotions.

How was I going to tell my boyfriend that half of me was now an interdimensional eldritch abomination from outside time and space?