Sometimes I wonder if an author is making a protagonist unlikable on purpose to make a point, or if they're not even aware they're doing it. Though I guess if you wanted to tell a story with multiple different high and low points, it would be convenient for your main character to be an unintentional dramatic conflict generator.

It's important to contextualize this book in 2025 vs when it was first published in 2009. 16 years has felt like a century in terms of acceptance of gay rights, and a book with this much caution and secrecy wouldn't be written the same way today. And maybe that's coloring my perception of the overall work and I would've enjoyed it more had I read it when it came out, but it still serves as an interesting time capsule for the culture.

Simon is a self-deprecating pessimist with no filter, and even his closest friends who act as important supporting characters in this plot are absent for long stretches because even they need a break from him (no such luck for the reader). But for some reason they, as well as our love interest Declan, see something in him that I did not that makes them keep coming back. From Declan's perspective, I guess I can see the appeal for a closeted AFL player at the peak of his career seeking out a partner who isn't starstruck and worships the very ground he walks on like the rest of the general public does. But the initial stages of the relationship felt very rushed to me and seemed to hinge on a dangerously thin: "I just like you."

There are interesting themes underneath the plot here: the challenges of dating someone in the closet while you're out, dating a celebrity when you're not, dating a professional athlete and getting blamed for their poor performance on the field, how involved a friend should get in a new relationship to prevent people from getting hurt. Turns out that's all really hard. And while some of the ups and downs and twists and turns are due to external forces such as the tabloid press, Simon does share a fair amount of the blame for the drama that goes down in this book. He does ultimately clear the air with Declan for as happy an ending two men could get in that era, but part of me can't help wonder if that was the best outcome for both of them.