I read this hoping it might grant me some insight into why people seem to love the movie so much. It was not a successful experiment.

Just like the movie, the overarching plot is insipid as best, though you can (and I, of course, would greatly like to) read it as a sort of cynical meta-commentary on adventure stories as a genre. The author's asides and digressions are tiresome (not to mention full of casual sexism and fat-shaming, so that's fun). There are certainly moments where it is oddly charming. But on the whole... meh.

I think this is just going to be one of those things that I never really "get".