I have an odd relationship with Amanda Palmer. I supported one of her Kickstarters, and donated to her Patreon also for a while, but never actually read or listened to whatever it was they were for. I can name maybe two of her songs, but I enjoyed her TED talk about asking. To be honest, she entered my awareness more because I'm a huge Neil Gaiman fan than for anything she specifically did. I admire her work and her philosophy and feel it's worth supporting and validating, yet feel as if I SHOULD enjoy her work more than I actually do. I keep vaguely aware of what she's up to because I follow Neil Gaiman on twitter, not because I follow her. I strongly support her work, without personally being captivated by it. Would she be okay with that? I think she probably would. I hope so.

This book has been on my list for ages but I only recently finally got around to reading it. It's basically an expansion of her TED talk on asking, with a lot of autobiographical stories thrown in. It's open and vulnerable and talks about impostor syndrome (which she calls the Fraud Police) and her close relationship with her fans and her relationship with her husband Neil and her childhood friend Anthony and how difficult it is to really ask for help. She has a lot of wise things to say about being open and honest with your fans, something that more marketing professionals, and more people in entertainment industries in general, could learn a lot from.

Most oddly of all, as I listened to this book I found myself thinking about my relationship with my mother a lot. Even though Palmer barely mentions her parents; in fact she talks as much about Neil's parents than her own. Still, she talks a lot about the way we relate to each other and comfort each other, and Neil's very emotionally distant upbringing, and how important it is to have love in your life. One quote from her friend Anthony in particular stuck with me: "If you want to know what you believe, ask the people you taught." A lot of my adult life has been spent trying to learn to be a different person from what I was taught by my mother. Palmer's book made me question lots of fundamental behaviours about how we treat people and open up to people (or not). So while it was a little rambling and the message could probably have been delivered quite a lot more concisely, it was still an interesting and thought-provoking read that I'll give a solid four stars.