Until You

You know it’s bad when you don’t like to be around yourself anymore.

One good thing I can say about this book from the get-go: it was an incredibly quick and easy read. It felt more like scrolling through someone’s blog or social networks than reading a book, in fact. Engaging, digestible, effortless, except half the time you have a vague understanding of what’s going on and who these people are. 

There was this big plot twist that I guess is the book’s whole selling point / main feature, but for me, it came too late. By the time certain reveals occurred, I was half invested in the red herring-based explanations for everything going on in Jude’s life, half annoyed by having so little info on what was up. I kept seeing his emotional reactions, but what was he reacting to? The story wasn’t structured like a mystery, and the questions it ended up answering eventually weren’t the ones that were actively  asked by the narrative. The mixture of structure and pacing honestly was just confusing.

I did like the relationship development, especially the early parts with the slow burn, the strangers-to-friends dynamics with a hint of friends-to-lovers to come, all those comfy, cozy scenes about eating pasta or sleeping in blanket forts together. I can’t say I was incredibly invested, but it was pleasant to read. The angstier second half lost me a bit, most likely because I wasn’t, in fact, invested in the specific characters and the relationship, I just liked the cozy moments for the sake of the coziness and the sarcastic banter that accompanied it.

Ultimately, I think my experience with this book can be summed up roughly like this: if it was a meal, it would consist of all my favorite ingredients, but each of them would be cooked wrongly somehow. There were some great moments here for sure, good ideas even in the structural sense, not to mention the plot. It’s not a bad book. But I guess I just didn’t vibe with the writing style.