Irb Media: Summary of Jennette Mccurdy's I'm Glad My Mom Died (2022, IRB MEDIA)
English language
Published Dec. 20, 2022 by IRB MEDIA.
Ends more abruptly than I’d have hoped, but tells an important traumatic story with a unique, relatable voice that offers subtle assurance that Jennette will, in fact, survive the tragedy. Her mother is a truly horrifying personality, presented from a perspective that reminds me of The Florida Project in how the childish innocence makes the atrocity even more heartbreaking.
[This was originally posted to Audible's page - I've listened to the audiobook for this one]
I see lots of complaints about the author’s performance for this audiobook. Is it sterile and lacking in nuance? Sure, but I think it also kind of fits the book. Can’t imagine Jennette McCurdy was thrilled in doing this. Her detached voice matches the emotional detachment one has when confronting a life of trauma. Hearing her voice breaks when her dawing revelation happens at the end breaks my heart. The writing is stiff and somewhat direct; once again something I would expect from someone who spent their whole life shutting up their own emotions for the benefit of others. It’s a poignant read that has the potential to spark a lot of relevant debate at the familial and community level. Jennette is glad her mom is dead and so am I, but I’m also …
[This was originally posted to Audible's page - I've listened to the audiobook for this one]
I see lots of complaints about the author’s performance for this audiobook. Is it sterile and lacking in nuance? Sure, but I think it also kind of fits the book. Can’t imagine Jennette McCurdy was thrilled in doing this. Her detached voice matches the emotional detachment one has when confronting a life of trauma. Hearing her voice breaks when her dawing revelation happens at the end breaks my heart. The writing is stiff and somewhat direct; once again something I would expect from someone who spent their whole life shutting up their own emotions for the benefit of others. It’s a poignant read that has the potential to spark a lot of relevant debate at the familial and community level. Jennette is glad her mom is dead and so am I, but I’m also glad she wrote this book.
A truly candid and authentic look into the nature of the mother-daughter bond in abusive contexts. Going into this book I was uncertain how "reformed" the content would be to avoid harsh criticism. I'm happy to say my concerns were completely invalidated.
McCurdy does brilliantly at portraying what it's like for a mother to impose her dreams upon a child. She describes the pressure and anxiety of it all whilst also putting emphasis on how she felt devoted to her mother. It's all very well written in the sense that it is a natural telling of how she got to where she is today.
5/5
This is one of the few autobiographical works that I have read and genuinely appreciated.
The hype around this memoir is incomperable right now. Especially in my book bubble there really is no way around it. And you know me, whenever there's a hyped up book I have no choice but to read it.
I'd like to begin with saying that I expected a lot more from this book. Other reviews made it seem like a tell-all about Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider. This was what really sold the book to me to be honest. Growing up I watched a lot of Drake and Josh, Zoey 101 etc. I never really felt invested with iCarly and only watched a few episodes, though. The characters were strange, weird and not my cup of tea, especially Jenette McCurdy's character Sam. And I felt like I was too old for the show anyway. I always thought the actors were much younger than me when in reality, they were a …
The hype around this memoir is incomperable right now. Especially in my book bubble there really is no way around it. And you know me, whenever there's a hyped up book I have no choice but to read it.
I'd like to begin with saying that I expected a lot more from this book. Other reviews made it seem like a tell-all about Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider. This was what really sold the book to me to be honest. Growing up I watched a lot of Drake and Josh, Zoey 101 etc. I never really felt invested with iCarly and only watched a few episodes, though. The characters were strange, weird and not my cup of tea, especially Jenette McCurdy's character Sam. And I felt like I was too old for the show anyway. I always thought the actors were much younger than me when in reality, they were a couple of years older.
Which brings us to the actual theme of the book. Jennette's relationship with her mom who wanted her daughter to become the acclaimed actress she herself always wanted to be. The title obviously already suggests that Jenette's relationship with her mom wasn't the best to put it mildly. The first part of the book is more or less a sequence of abuse the author suffered in her childhood and adolescence mainly from her mother. Jennette's mother eventually drives her into anorexia in order to prevent her body from changing during puberty.
The mother's death marks the end of the first part.
The second part is about Jennette's (eating disorder) recovery and overcoming her mental health issues.
I already indicated that the first part lacked emotional depth in my opinion. Of course, it was horrible to read about McCurdy suffering as a child and young adult. And I just don't understand why the other adults in McCurdy's life never held her mother accountable. But then again, this is a memoir. And I expect more from an author than just stating that things "just happened" if you know what I mean.
I liked the second part much better and found it a lot more emotional than the first one. Naturally, her mother's death wasn't a magical liberation for McCurdy. She still had problems like drinking, bulimia/anorexia and rather toxic relationships with (older) men. But she's finally able to start therapy and her recovery process.
My main criticism is that the only time we really hear about Jennette reflecting her past is the very last chapter. In the end, she comes to the conclusion that she doesn't owe her dead mother anything and that romanticizing abusive dead people is ridiculous.
In other words, this book is almost exclusively about Jennette McCurdy's relationship to her mom, the abuse she suffered from her and the author's recovery. Everything else like McCurdy's relationship to her other family members, cast members, friends and romantic partners is more or less in the background.
I understand that she wanted to keep things private and maybe had to do so for legal reasons (like just referring to Dan Schneider as "the creator") but as a reader this was kind of unsatisfying. That really makes me sound like the worst gossip in the world... But I'd rather not read anything about her other relationships at all than the tiny bits and pieces we got that just left me with a lot of questions.
The thing for me just is that when I compare it to other memoirs I've read "I'm Glad My Mom Died" doesn't really stand out. There is no real classification to the abuse if you exclude the last chapter. McCurdy really doesn't share her thoughts and feelings apart from her wanting to please her mother. And she often spoke about her alcohol abuse but there's really only one occasion where we actually see it.
In conclusion, the memoir seemed underdeveloped to me and I think that it could've been a lot better with a bit more editing.
[Sorry if I'm not making any sense. English is not my first language which made it hard for me to put my thoughts into words.]
