Hardcover, 216 pages
English language
Published Sept. 27, 2014 by Carrel Books.
What if you weren't sexually attracted to anyone?
A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren't sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation—like gay, straight, or bisexual.
Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that "everyone" wants sex, that "everyone" understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that "everyone" wants to date and mate. But that's where asexual people are left out—they don't find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that's okay.
When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: …
What if you weren't sexually attracted to anyone?
A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren't sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation—like gay, straight, or bisexual.
Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that "everyone" wants sex, that "everyone" understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that "everyone" wants to date and mate. But that's where asexual people are left out—they don't find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that's okay.
When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as "asexual." Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed.
In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones.
An extremely comprehensive book about a niche topic. The language is simple, but the sheer amount of text may scare away people who don't read a lot. That being said, the advice offered in this book is sound, even though it's been 10 years. If you suspect that you or one of those around you may be asexual, I'd recommend you pick this up and give it a read.
3.7 Stars.
It's great that there is a book such as this. It isn't merely interesting for those who wonder themselves whether they might belong somewhere under the "ace umbrella". It also has value, I believe, for those who just want to learn about the subject of asexuality for the first time.
But it really very much is an introduction and becomes repetitive in some parts when you actually treat yourself to the whole thing, not just the passages that might be more addressed to you as someone researching for the first time (for whatever purpose).
Also: I listened to the audible audiobook, and the narrator does have one of those voices I like to zone out to...
I started this book "too late", but it is a solid introduction to the subject.
