The Villain Edit

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review

What could be better publicity for my writing career than a romance author looking for her own happily ever after?

Jac is thirty-two and just moved back home after getting a taste of what she thought was her dream of being a successful author living in New York. However, the dream was short lived, that big three book publishing contract disappears when her first book tanks and the second barely sells and she spends all her money trying to be the fun, single, successful author living in the big city. This leads to a drunken night of answering an online casting call for a reality tv show where the contestants battle it out for love, a la The Bachelor.

I lean forward toward him eagerly. “And who am I?” I ask. He flashes me a sly grin. “A lit match on a very dark night.”

If you're a fan of The Bachelor, then you might end up liking this more than me, but you're going to have to want to see the underbelly of what makes the show. Told all in Jac's pov, it's clear that all these events have already happened and the reader is getting the backstory, the story catches up to the present in the latter second half. We see Jac have a one-night stand before she's set to start filming and, oh no, the one night stand turns out to be Henry, a producer on the show. This sets-up the whole, are the feelings between them real or is Henry “producing” Jac to make great tv? Along the way, Jac feels an instant connection and chemistry with the man everyone is vying for, Marcus, and there's a little bit of a love triangle. I say little bit, because this is more about Jac trying to find herself.

I keep questioning what's real and what's not and who I even am or thought I was.

Jac is set-up to be the “unlikable heroine” in the story and the tv show. And here's the thing, while I didn't actively not like her, I grew disinterested in her and the story. It's toned in pretty bitter vibes, bemoaning botox, having to be skinny, looking a certain way, etc., which yes, all tiring issues women have to deal with but I'm not sure I ever felt Jac actually being tired and done with it. She uses all these advantages she has to “win”, which she likes in her “I want to stand out but am uncomfortable being the center of attention” personality. There's some annoyance that this is her “role” but, to me, her jaded personality doesn't really hate it, it's bothersome to her but she's written fairly dead inside, excuse me, “walled off” (works if character is walled off to other characters but me as the reader probably needs to see/feel at least some of the behind the wall emotion) and I can't say I ever really felt her hate it, because she fits the mold, even if it takes some energy for her too. Secondary characters never truly get filled out, this being all from Jac's pov and her sucking all the air out of the room.

And that's not what I meant, it's never what I meant, because the happiness I need is so much bigger than romance or fairy tales or beautiful dinners where I starve because starving is how everyone might like me best. That's not real. That's not what I want.

I don't know, maybe I've just read too many, “publishing is horrific”, “people on social media are horrific”, and toned writing that brings not a single ounce of joy to the characters or world. This is coming from someone who's nickname was “Daria”! I like jaded, cynical, and unlikable women because usually the character is saying a whole lot through these characteristics. I'm not sure the author accomplished what she set out to here, Jac felt like empty “not like other women”. And, at the risk of being like a social media reviewer character quoted in the story, because that seems like the du jour thing to do right now, I wouldn't recommend this for the romance, not strong enough for me. I would recommend this is you want more of a bitter toned story about how reality shows like The Bachelor aren't really about the love.