Nightbitch

I’ll start by saying that as a male, I’m probably not the intended audience for this book. I will also admit that I was initially turned off and maybe even a little offended by how reading this book made me feel. I knew going in that this book would be outside of my wheelhouse, but I still felt attacked by how unapologetically feminist the book was. Luckily for me, I was able to get over myself and embrace Nightbitch for what it was. It’s a hilarious, bizarre, sad, and frustrating book. From start to finish, Nightbitch is uncompromising in telling the truth, even the dark and dirty truth of a struggling stay at home mom.

My one gripe with the took is that it ran a bit too long. It was incredibly well written, but sometimes it felt like there was just a little too much of everything. I think I would have given it 5 stars had it been in the 200-220 page range, rather than 256 pages.

Even though I don’t think this book was meant for my eyes, I’m happy I gave it a chance and got over my initial reaction to the content. It may not have been meant for me, but it’s something I needed to read.

This is probably a love it or hate it book for a lot of people. Overall, I enjoyed this. Some parts about motherhood felt overly didactic, it could have been subtler and stronger, but the message is fantastic.

I liked that in the end the husband was in awe and supportive even though I was really sick of him through most of the book. I wish that it had been a bit more believable, that we saw more of his interest in her earlier work, and that we saw positive aspects of their relationship throughout the book. But his reaction to her in the end was I think empowering.

I was worried the book was going to do Jen dirty, so I also appreciated that shift at the end. I didn’t want this to be a story that validated mom vs mom stuff. It doesn’t, the “perfect” mom is revealed to have plenty of her own problems.

I enjoyed the themes of this story. I don’t quite know what to make of all the symbolism and metaphor there is to work with. Thinking about that stuff is not my strong suit. But I enjoy the challenge. To me the book is honoring and celebrating the power of women and motherhood. It has been disrespected, devalued, and Nightbitch is working through that and by the end wants to change that.

Favorite quotes:

How many generations of women had delayed their greatness only to have time extinguish it completely? How many women had run out of time while the men didn’t know what to do with theirs? And what a mean trick to call such things holy or selfless. How evil to praise women for giving up each and every dream.

Nightbitch resolved to demand things- all sorts of things. To ask. To not assume she had to cook the dinner and do the night-nights and clean the house and pay the bills and buy the presents and send the cards and schedule to appointments and keep track of every last thing all by herself. This was, after all, a partnership, wasn’t it? This was, after all, the modern era, empowerment and feminism and all that, and she had not been taking advantage of any of it because, she discovered as she thought further, she did not have a job. Or, rather, she did not have a job that paid any money whatsoever; in fact, it was a drain on money, represented negative money, this mothering job.

“And this performance is meant to underscore the brutality and power and darkness of motherhood, for modern motherhood has been neutered and sanitized. We are at base animals, and to deny us either our animal nature or our dignity as humans is a crime against existence. Womanhood and motherhood are perhaps the most potent forces in human society, which of course men have been hasty to quash, for they are right to fear these forces.”