Slouch Witch (The Lazy Girl's Guide To Magic) (Volume 1)

The plot is contrived as hell : FL bound in a magical contract to the ML because she was in her neighbor's apartment and the mages didn't bother to check who she was when she opened the door? Right, good start book... 😑

The FL is insufferable. The premise of a witch who didn't care about learning magic or gaining power but only about doing the least amount of work seemed interesting on paper and is what drew me to this book, but it's executed horribly. Her "laziness" matters only as far as the plot allows, which is not much. It seems "slouch witch" means a witch who constantly talks about how she would like nothing better than be left alone to watch movies at home, and yet lets herself be dragged by the plot while complaining even though it makes no sense for her to go with it.

It already started badly with her inventing an injury to refuse a neighbor's offer of jogging (or whatever other activity, can't remember). Because she's lazy, see... she's a SLOUCH WITCH! But somehow she can't just say she's not interested, she has to pretend being injured. Ahah, lazy girl trying to avoid physical activity, how funny!

Then the plot is dropped on her —well, her neighbor's— door and it gets worse. She meets the magical society, who are snobbish pricks —there's a lot of those in this book— and agrees to follow the terms of the contract. I guess the intent was to portray her as making the best out of a bad situation? Probably? But it just comes as her being too spineless to stand up for herself and letting herself be cowed into agreeing to a shit deal way too easily.

There are few things as frustrating as a FL whom the author tries to convince you has spunk but who constantly acts like a doormat. Talking big in her heard but consistently acting too spineless to stand up for herself.

Then it only gets worse. All she agreed on was to be around the insufferable ML because of the magical plot thingy, so she could have just told him to fuck off when he decided on his own that she would actually work with him for real and that he would train her... because he's an arrogant prick who feels offended by the idea of having a fake apprentice. She bitches enough to make it clear that she has no interest in either working or training with him, and yet once again she acts like everything is unavoidable because the plot says so and behaves like a doormat. And the feels so proud of herself for managing to cheat a bit during training! Because she's lazy, you see! I'd have had more respect for her if she'd just told him where he could shove his training and had gone back to watching Netflix.

ML is an insufferable prick. Being told constantly how hot he was already grew grating five minutes after his introduction, and it became nauseating once it continued even after he proved how much of an abusive asshole he was —but it's okay because he's hot! did I mention how hot he is? he's very hot!

The "lazy unhealthy girl forced through punishing physical training but it's okay because it'll end up being good for her" trope needs to die. Painfully.

I gave up not long after the library scene and the hundredth mention of how hot the ML was. I just couldn't force myself to listen any more.