Justin du Coeur reviewed Spinning by Tillie Walden
A growing-up memoir about being trapped by what you love
4 stars
Spinning (now out in a new edition from Avery Hill) is generally labeled as a queer coming-of-age story, and that's true as far as it goes, but it's a bit less queer-centered than that label might suggest. Tillie has known she was gay for almost her entire life, and the struggle to come out is definitely part of the story here (especially after her parents move to Texas).
But the story isn't nearly that reductive. This is a much broader memoir, told in quiet shades: it's a very introspective story, starting around the time of that move to Texas in sixth grade and continuing through high school. It's partly about her relationships with other girls, but far more about her rather troubled relationship with figure skating.
Tillie is a talented skater, but not world-class, and she knows it. She's been skating for most of her life, much of that preparing …
Spinning (now out in a new edition from Avery Hill) is generally labeled as a queer coming-of-age story, and that's true as far as it goes, but it's a bit less queer-centered than that label might suggest. Tillie has known she was gay for almost her entire life, and the struggle to come out is definitely part of the story here (especially after her parents move to Texas).
But the story isn't nearly that reductive. This is a much broader memoir, told in quiet shades: it's a very introspective story, starting around the time of that move to Texas in sixth grade and continuing through high school. It's partly about her relationships with other girls, but far more about her rather troubled relationship with figure skating.
Tillie is a talented skater, but not world-class, and she knows it. She's been skating for most of her life, much of that preparing for competitions, but her feelings are by no means unbridled joy -- the book focuses more on the tension, the stress, the little abuses perpetrated by coaches that she internalized and built too much of her identity around.
This is a tale of how she found herself trapped by that public image as "a skater", the struggle to escape for it, and the little horrors of growing up -- including some incidents that clearly affected her profoundly, but which were hard to express as a kid.
It's a somber story, partly of figuring out what she wants out of life, but even more figuring out what she doesn't want. It's not a happy tale, but feels more honest a reflection than the way most folks think about their high school days.
