I'm reading this book www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/29075905-prayer#
and it mentioned an interesting story:
A young man asked his priest to interpret his strong feeling in his heart: "it happens every night, like the burning the disciples felt when meeting Jesus on the road to Emmaus. Please help me. What does it mean?"
The priest replied:" You've got heartburn, son." And he gave him an antacid pill.
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I find this story especially inspiring given my current stomach problem. I used to also do the same thing. I used to interpret every bit of my life as either reward or punishment from God. I used to not accept the concept of depression. I used to fight against my every little fallen thought as though I could get rid of the sinful nature from me. I used to also despise the pursuit of money and career and believed that only voluntary work has the divine meaning that's worth pursuing.
But as the book said, we are holistic human beings. Yes, as a God-believer, I think we do need to connect to a divine source, yet our practical life on the earth cannot be separated from us or considered "non-spiritual". Sometimes, we need antacid, we need more sleep, we need financial help, we need counseling, we need communication, we need deep engagement with people. Sometimes, our rigid religious thoughts make us view every problem as "a problem between me and God", and thus block us from seeing what we truly need to see, doing what we truly need to do.
Every person's journey is unique. In some of my darkest moments, trusting in God sustained me. In other difficult times, on the contrary, taking a break from the church was needed, and true friendship nourished me, counseling saved me, going to the gym built me up.
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Therefore, (I'm saying this to myself as well since I'm such an introvert