Starting with the big picture, I honestly don’t see anything novel or original in the main proposition of this book. The authors propose a notion of a “crucial conversation” when 3 attributes are present: high stakes, different opinions, strong emotions. Honestly, I cannot help thinking that this is an attempt to put a new sophisticated sounding framework on an age-old problem of negotiation. Surely, one can argue that not all negotiations are high stakes or emotional but whenever a difference of opinion is involved, one has to make an effort to come to a mutually satisfactory solution.

And that is what the book is about - the authors come up with fancy names for negotiation methods which all boil down to one thing - finding a compromise, being able to understand and empathize with the other side, avoid bullying, and staying focused. Again, I cannot say I found anything novel or original in their approach.

But at least, if they were dwelling on established truths, repeating them again would surely help, right? That brings me to the other big problem with this book: the execution. Either due to too many cooks in the kitchen or for some other reason, the narration is a mess. It is confusing, jumping from one aspect of negotiation to another, constantly zooming in and out. The authors invent sophisticated terms (e.g. “withholding from the pool of shared meaning") but they are not good at describing them well - one has to piece together what they meant. Using established concepts would’ve completely eliminated this problem, but then the book couldn’t claim that it had “revolutionized the way millions of people communicate.”

Finally, the examples. Oh, those real life situations that demonstrated the power of Crucial Conversation mastery! Honestly, I found them stilted and artificial - more importantly, utterly unconvincing. They sound exactly the way those hilarious corporate training videos do and if anything, I cannot claim I saw the power of Crucial Conversation in them. And I will surely not use this technique to discuss our sexual life with my spouse (yes, one of the examples is just about that).

To summarize, there is nothing new or original that I could find in this book. Flip through it only if you want to appreciate the hilarious “examples.” If you want to improve your negotiation skills (hint: yes, you do want it!) read [b:Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In|15774220|Getting to Yes Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In|Roger Fisher|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1343475801s/15774220.jpg|1394134] - it is much more up to the point.