I've abandoned this book before finishing it. There subject of the book is interesting, but I felt like it didn't really address some questions that hung over my head while reading it. Namely, in a patriarchal society, what is the significance of who chooses to receive pain and who wants to inflict it (consensually)? I feel like these aren't the "free choices" that the author would like them to appear. One can not say "I could have chosen either way" when one is brought up entirely to consume or to be consumed, depending on how society judges their gender.