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Terry Pratchett: Hogfather (Paperback, 2003, HarperTorch) 4 stars

Who would want to harm Discworld's most beloved icon? Very few things are held sacred …

"He says, SAY SOMETHING, BURSAAAR!" yelled Ridcully helpfully, into the Bursar's ear.

"Corkscrew? It's a tickler, that's what Nanny says," said the Bursar.

Things started to spin inside Hex. At the back of the room a huge converted waterwheel covered with sheep skulls began to turn, ponderously.

And the quill pen in its network of springs and guiding arms started to write:

+++ Why Do You Think You Are A Tickler? +++

For a moment the Bursar hesitated. Then he said, "I've got a spoon of my own, you know."

+++ Tell Me About Your Spoon +++ "Er... it's a little spoon..."

+++ Does Your Spoon Worry You? +++

The Bursar frowned. Then he seemed to rally. "Whoops, here comes Mr. Jelly," he said, but he didn't sound as though his heart was in it.

+++ How Long Have You Been Mr. Jelly? +++

The Bursar glared. "Are you making fun of me?" he said.

"Amazin'!" said Ridcully. "It's got him stumped! 's better than dried frog pills!

How did you work it out?" "Er..." said Ponder. "It sort of just happened

"Amazin'," said Ridcully. He knocked the ashes out of his pipe on Hex's "Anthill

Hogfather by  (Page 152)

OMG HOGFATHER (1996) has a tribute to ELIZA