For 20 years The Ethical Slut has dispelled myths and showed curious readers how to maintain a successful polyamorous lifestyle through open communication, emotional honesty, and safer sex practices. The third edition of this timeless guide to communication and sex has been revised to include interviews with poly millennials (young people who have grown up without the prejudices their elders encountered regarding gender, orientation, sexuality, and relationships), tributes to poly pioneers, and new sidebars on topics such as asexuality, sex workers, and ways polys can connect and thrive. The authors also include new content addressing nontraditional relationships beyond the polyamorous paradigm of "more than two": couples who don't live together, couples who don't have sex with each other, nonparallel arrangements, couples with widely divergent sex styles, power disparities, and cross-orientation relationships, while utilizing nonbinary gender language and new terms that have come into common usage since the last edition.
For 20 years The Ethical Slut has dispelled myths and showed curious readers how to maintain a successful polyamorous lifestyle through open communication, emotional honesty, and safer sex practices. The third edition of this timeless guide to communication and sex has been revised to include interviews with poly millennials (young people who have grown up without the prejudices their elders encountered regarding gender, orientation, sexuality, and relationships), tributes to poly pioneers, and new sidebars on topics such as asexuality, sex workers, and ways polys can connect and thrive. The authors also include new content addressing nontraditional relationships beyond the polyamorous paradigm of "more than two": couples who don't live together, couples who don't have sex with each other, nonparallel arrangements, couples with widely divergent sex styles, power disparities, and cross-orientation relationships, while utilizing nonbinary gender language and new terms that have come into common usage since the last edition.
Wish I’d read this sooner, should honestly be required reading in school. Basically a primer on being a decent human in your interactions with yourself and others.
Obviously not every part is equally relevant to everyone but this book does a fantastic job of talking about relationships and sexual needs/urges in a non-judgmental way. It critically looks at established societal norms, questioning them and providing alternative thoughts in the most positive way.
I read the original edition on purpose and the language is outdated when it comes to tackling gender and trans folks but never in a nasty way and despite that I am surprised by how well this book has aged
For anyone I recommended this to when I was starting out as polyamorous: I'm sorry.
For funsies I went through this book again, and... in retrospect, there is very little "practical" knowledge to take away with, other than the very basic things. So as a jumping-off point this book is ideal, but not for more than that. There's a lot of fluff, and feel-goodness... but if you're looking for answers/advice this book will frustrate you.
When this book is mentioned, More Than Two and Opening Up are usually not far behind in being recommended. I echo that sentiment. Look those up.
For anyone I recommended this to when I was starting out as polyamorous: I'm sorry.
For funsies I went through this book again, and... in retrospect, there is very little "practical" knowledge to take away with, other than the very basic things. So as a jumping-off point this book is ideal, but not for more than that. There's a lot of fluff, and feel-goodness... but if you're looking for answers/advice this book will frustrate you.
When this book is mentioned, More Than Two and Opening Up are usually not far behind in being recommended. I echo that sentiment. Look those up.
Communication, boundaries, respect, compassion, mindfulness, conflict resolution, growth ... and being a better person. Not what I was expecting from this curiously-titled book.
The title. Oh, the title. I understand the need to take back the word: I started reading Dan Savage back when he asked readers to address him as “Hey, Faggot”. (That was before podcasts, kids). It's a noble cause. But how many potential readers have they lost because of it?
As it is, they're preaching to the choir. I love the title, but only upon reflection. And I wish I had ignored the title years ago, picked it up, read it, absorbed it. There's so much love and wisdom here. Some of it I've picked up already over the years... but it would've been nice to have a guide.
So, to the maybe three people who are still reading my words: please read this book. Despite the …
Communication, boundaries, respect, compassion, mindfulness, conflict resolution, growth ... and being a better person. Not what I was expecting from this curiously-titled book.
The title. Oh, the title. I understand the need to take back the word: I started reading Dan Savage back when he asked readers to address him as “Hey, Faggot”. (That was before podcasts, kids). It's a noble cause. But how many potential readers have they lost because of it?
As it is, they're preaching to the choir. I love the title, but only upon reflection. And I wish I had ignored the title years ago, picked it up, read it, absorbed it. There's so much love and wisdom here. Some of it I've picked up already over the years... but it would've been nice to have a guide.
So, to the maybe three people who are still reading my words: please read this book. Despite the title. Despite the Poly, if that's not your thing. Married, single, monogamous, monogamish, as long as you're human and you wish to deal lovingly with other fellow humans, there will be much you can learn here. It's a world-changing book, on par with [b:Nonviolent Communication|71730|Nonviolent Communication A Language of Life|Marshall B. Rosenberg|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1170788697s/71730.jpg|2766138] and [b:Sex at Dawn|7640261|Sex at Dawn The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality|Christopher Ryan|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1291105594s/7640261.jpg|10168576].
A very easy and fast read, written for both skeptics and non-monogamous types. Coming from a polyamorous couple, one of which is a therapist, the book carries some weight and legitimacy. As someone who believes in open relationships, I found the progression in the book from self, to lovers, to community to be healthy steps for anyone looking to get the most out of their relationships; I haven't been able to find any reviews about the book that reveal any fundamental problems with the authors' opinions. The feel-good, flower child tone made me roll my eyes a few times, but this is what you get with most relationship books anyway.
I borrowed this copy. Didn't realize that there's a new 2009 2nd edition. I may have to get my own copy!
A very easy and fast read, written for both skeptics and non-monogamous types. Coming from a polyamorous couple, one of which is a therapist, the book carries some weight and legitimacy. As someone who believes in open relationships, I found the progression in the book from self, to lovers, to community to be healthy steps for anyone looking to get the most out of their relationships; I haven't been able to find any reviews about the book that reveal any fundamental problems with the authors' opinions. The feel-good, flower child tone made me roll my eyes a few times, but this is what you get with most relationship books anyway.
I borrowed this copy. Didn't realize that there's a new 2009 2nd edition. I may have to get my own copy!
