Heaven

This was a really fascinating read. Once I got to the part where the boy talks to one of his bullies I was like, ohhh okay, this is what we’re doing. This story is using bullying to do a philosophical exploration of suffering and what it means, among other things.

I held back from 5 stars for a couple reasons. Having a lazy eye is not the same as being blind, but I wondered about the metaphorical use of the eye here and whether it’s, to use the dreaded word, problematic and ableist, even while the message of the story largely pushes against that. I also wasn’t sure how I felt about Kojima’s passive role as a woman. That’s it - I’m not sure how I feel about those things. Not especially strong feelings either way.

Putting that aside, this was an engaging way to think about this topic. It feels like we’re dealing with the age old question, why do we suffer? And why do people /senselessly/ suffer in particular? I’m not the smartest person, so I wouldn’t say I fully understand the conclusion of this story. But between Kojima and Momose we get different takes on what to think about suffering. Kojima reminds me of my religious upbringing - suffering has a purpose. Momose reminds me of Nietzsche - take the power, there is no right or wrong, there is no reason for anything.

The ending is where I’m more at a loss about what to think. The boy is unhappy with either take on it, I think. The descriptive language of the story makes me think he’s trying to reconcile the two, or that he sees them as similar in extremity. He moves ahead with fixing his lazy eye (understanding that the bullying was ultimately not about that, or about much more than that) and has this experience of beauty afterward that speaks to some sort of veil being lifted, a new perspective on life. We don’t hear from him what he’s thinking philosophically about suffering. But I think he could be taking the best of both worlds. Nothing matters, so my fears can drop away. But I can give meaning to what I want to give meaning to, such as beauty and suffering.

Favorite quotes:
“It’s just that some people can do things, and others can’t. There are things that they want to do and things that they don’t. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes. It couldn’t be any simpler. People do what they can get away with.”
Momose suppressed a yawn.
“None of it happens for any reason, though. We can do those things, for no reason. We can. We do. And you can’t. There’s no reason for that either.”

“Even if something happens to us, even if we die and never have to deal with them again, the same thing will happen to someone, somewhere. The same thing. The weak always go through this, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Because the strong never go away. That’s why you want to pretend to be like them, isn’t it? You want to join them.” - Kojima

Everything was beautiful. Not that there was anyone to share it with, anyone to tell. Just the beauty.