#douglasadams

See tagged statuses in the local BookWyrm community

Ford Prefect: And I'll tell you another interesting thing...
Zaphod: Look, I don't want to be interested! I don't wanna be relaxed or stimulated or have my horizons broadened, I just wanna be rescued, Ford! [Panicked breathing - quite understandable, given that he's barely hanging on above a drop of some thirteen miles!] I just wanna be swutting well RESCUED!
Ford Prefect: I'm sorry, I've told you: No way.
Zaphod: Aw, belgium, man, BELGIUM!

"Delay?" Zaphod cried. "Have you seen the world outside this ship? It's a wasteland, a desert. Civilization's been and gone, man. There are no lemon-soaked paper napkins on the way from anywhere."
"The statistical likelihood," continued the autopilot primly, "is that other civilizations will arise. There will one day be lemon-soaked paper napkins. Till then there will be a short delay. Please return to your seat."

The fabulously beautiful planet Bethselamin is now so worried about the cumulative erosion by ten billion visiting tourists a year that any net imbalance between the amount you eat and the amount you excrete while on the planet is surgically removed from your body weight when you leave: so every time you go to the lavatory there it is vitally important to get a receipt.