Alecs Ștefănescu quoted Cold Intimacies by Eva Illouz
It is commonly assumed that capitalism has created an a-emotional world dominated by bureaucratic rationality; …
Yet, at the same time, these neutral and rational procedures of speech are accompanied by an intensely subjectivist way of legitimating one’s sentiments. For the bearer of an emotion is recognized as the ultimate arbiter of their own feelings. “I feel that … ” implies not only that one has the right to feel that way, but also that such right entitles one to be accepted and recognized simply by virtue of feeling a certain way. To say “I feel hurt” allows little discussion and in fact demands immediate recognition of that hurt. The model of communication thus pulls relations in opposite directions: it submits relationships to procedures of speech which aim at neutralizing the emotional dynamic as that of guilt, anger, resentment, shame, or frustration, etc.; yet it intensifies subjectivism and emotivism, making us regard our emotions as having a validity of their own by the very fact of being expressed. I am not sure this is conducive to recognition for, as Judith Butler puts it, “recognition begins with the insight that one is lost in the other, appropriated in and by an alterity that is and is not oneself … ”