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Why is it that a request stated in a certain way will be rejected, while a request that asks for the same favor in a slightly different fashion will be successful?
Those who don't know how to get people to say yes soon fall away; those who do, stay and flourish.
6 Principles:
1. Consistency
2. Reciprocation
3. Social Proof
4. Authority
5. Liking
6. Scarcity
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#1 Weapons of Influence
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -Albert Einstein
Expensive = Good
Ask a favor
Contract principle
When we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have reasons for what they do.
There is a principle in human perception, the contract principle, that affects the way we see the difference between two things that are presented one after another. If the second item is fairly different from the first, we will tend to see it as more different than it actually is. So if we life a light object first and then life a heavy object, we will estimate the second object to be heavier than if we had lifted it without first trying the light one.
Clothing stores instruct their sales personnel to sell the costly item first. Sell the suit first, because when it comes time to look at sweaters, even expensive ones, their prices will not seem as high in comparison. It is much more profitable for salespeople to present the expensive item first.
Start with a couple of undesirable houses. The house I got them into looks really great after they've first looked at a couple of dumps.
The trick is to bring up the extras independently of one another, so that each small price will seem petty when compared to the already-determined much larger one.
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#2 Reciprocation
Pay every debt as if God wrote the bill.
We should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us.
We are obligated to the future repayment of favors, gifts, invitations, and the like.
People are more willing to do a favor for someone they like.
However, for those who owed him a favor, it make no difference whether they liked him or not; they felt a sense of obligation to repay him, and they did.
People we might ordinarily dislike can greatly increase the chance that we will do what they wish merely by providing us with a small favor prior to their request.
Another person can trigger a feeling of indebtedness by doing us an uninvited favor.
There is a strong cultural pressure to reciprocate a gift, even an unwanted one but there is no such pressure to purchase an unwanted commercial product.
A small initial favor can produce a sense of obligation to agree to a substantially larger return favor.
Unpleasant character of the feeling of indebtedness. Most of us find it highly disagreeable to be in a state of obligation. It weighs heavily on us and demands to be removed.
We may be willing to agree to perform a larger favor than we received, merely to relieve ourselves of the psychological burden of debt.
Make a concession to someone who has made a concession to us. His request that I purchase some one-dollar chocolate bars had been put in the form of a concession on his part; it was presented as a retreat from his request that I buy some five-dollar tickets. When he changed from a larger to a smaller request, even though I was not really interested in either of the things he offered.
It is possible to use an initial concession as part of a highly effective compliance technique: rejection-then-retreat technique. One way to increase your chances would be first to make a larger request of me, one that I will most likely turn down. Then, after I have refused, you would make the smaller request that you were really interested in all along. Provided that you have structured skillfully, I should view your second request as a concession to me and should feel inclined to respond with a concession of my own.
The second request did not actually have to be small; it only had to be smaller that the initial one.
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#3 Commitment and Consistency
"It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end." -Leonardo Da Vinci
Once we have made a choice or taken a stand, we will encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistently with that commitment.
We all fool ourselves from time to time in order to keep our thoughts and beliefs consistent with what we have already done and decided.
The desire for consistency as a central motivator of our behavior. The drive to be and look consistent constitutes a highly potent weapon of social influence.
If I can get you to make a commitment (take a stand' to go on the record), I will have set the stage for your automatic, and ill-considered consistency with that earlier committment. Once a stand is taken, there is a natural tendency to behave in ways that are stubbornly consistent with the stand.
The strategy for salespeople is to obtain a large purchase by starting with a small one. Almost any small sale will do, because the purpose of that small transaction is not profit; it is commitment.
Public commitments tend to be lasting commitments. Whenever one takes a stand that is visible to others, there arises a drive to maintain that stand in order to look like a consistent person. The more public a stand, the more reluctant we will be to change it.
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#4 Social Proof
One method we use to determine what is correct is to find out what other people think is correct.
Bartenders often "salt" their tip jars with a few dollar bills at the beginning of the evening to simulate tips left by prior customers and thereby give the impression that tipping with folding money is proper barroom behavior.
Advertisers love to inform us when a product is the "fastest growing" or "largest-selling" because then don't have to convince us directly that the product is good, they need only say that many others think so, when seems proof enough.
95% of people are imitators, and only 5% are initiators.
The principle of social proof works best when the proof is provided by the actions of a LOT of other people.
When people are uncertain they are more likely to use others' actions to decide how they themselves should act.
We will use the actions of others to decide on proper behavior for ourselves, especially when we view those others as similar to ourselves.
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#5 Liking
The main work of a trial attorney is to make a jury like his client.
We most prefer to say yes to the requests of someone we know and like.
The attraction, the warmth, the security, and the obligation of friendship are brought to bear on the sales meeting.
The friend doesn't even have to be present to be effective; often just the mention of the friend's name is often enough.
Calling on a prospect and being able to say that Mr. so-and-so, and friend of his, felt he would benefit by giving you a few moments of his time is virtually as good as a sale 50% made before you enter.
First, they get us to like them.
Physical Attractiveness
There seems to be a click, whirr response to attractive people. Research has found that we automatically assign to good-looking individuals such favorable traits as talent, kindness, honesty and intelligence. Good grooming of applicants in a simulated employment interview accounted for more favorable hiring decisions than did job qualifications.
Both male and female jurors exhibited the attractiveness-based favoritism.
It is apparent that good-looking people enjoy an enormous social advnatage in our culture.
Similarity
We like people who are similar to us, whether it is in the area of opinions, personality traits, background or life-style. Dress is a good example; as is age, religion, politics and cigar-smoking habits.
"Mirror and match" the customer's body posture, mood and very style.
Compliments
We are phenominal suckers for flattery.
The evaluator who provided only praise was liked best. Pure praise did not have to be accurate to work.
Contact and Cooperation
We like things that are familiar to us.
Our attitude towards something has been influenced by the number of times we have been exposed to it in the past.
Competition has its place; it can serve as a valuable motivator of desirable action and an important builder of self-concept.
Conditioning and Association
The nature of bad news infects the teller. There is a natural human tendency to dislike a person who brings us unpleasant information, even when that person did not cause the bad news. The simple association with it is enough to stimulate our dislike.
An innocent association with either bad things or good things will influence how people feel about us.
We are known by the company we kept. People do assume that we have the same personality traits as our friends.
The important thing for the advertiser is to establish the connection; it doesn't have to be a logical one, just a positive one.
during fund raisers, the appeals for further contributions and heightened effort never come before the meal is served, only during or after.
They should connect themselves to good news but not bad news.
All things being equal, you root for your own sex, your own culture, your own locality etc.
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#6 Authority
A deep-seated sense of duty to authority within us all.
Extreme willingness of adults to go to almost any lengths on the command of an authority.
The sheer strength of authority pressures in controlling our behavior.
The appearance of authority was enough.
Con artists, for example, drape themselves with the titles, clothes, and trappings of authority. They love nothing more than to emerge elegantly dressed from a fine automobile and to introduce themselves to their prospective "mark".
Clothes
A kind of authority symbol that can trigger our mechanical compliance is clothing.
A traditional authority status in our culture: a well-tailored business suit.
Finely styled and expensive clothes carry an aura of status and position, as do trappings such as jewelry and cars.
Owners of prestige autos receive a special kind of deference from us.
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#7 Scarcity
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
The idea of potential loss play a large role in human decision making. In fact, people seem to be more motivated by the thought of losing something than by the thought of gaining something of equal value.
Scarcity principle occurs in the "limited number" tactic.
The idea is to dangle a carrot in front of the buyer's face and then take it away.
When an item becomes less available, we experience an increased desire for it.
The drop from abundance to scarcity produced a decidedly more positive reaction than did constant scarcity. People see a thing as more desirable when it has recently become less available than when it has been scarce all along.
The importance of competition in the pursuit of limited resources. Not only do we want the same item more when it is scarce, we want it most when we are in competition for it.
