Belonging so fully to yourself that you’re willing to stand alone is a wilderness—an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as it is feared. The wilderness can often feel unholy because we can’t control it, or what people think about our choice of whether to venture into that vastness or not. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it’s the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand.
To focus just on the good stuff: I think BB’s thoughts on dehumanization would make good fodder for a meaningful “critical whiteness” training at work, especially in environments where we love to cling to the “unbiased” identity bs. I also very much enjoyed her enthusiasm for finding & not compromising for your authentic self and the chapter on speaking truth to bullshit (though I’m sure ppl’s mileage may vary on the civility bits, because it gets pretty close to respectability politics). There was enough wisdom in this book to help me think critically about some stuff I do and some stuff that surrounds me, and that’s good enough for me.
Review of 'Braving the Wilderness : The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone' on 'Goodreads'
4 stars
I don't relate to Brené on some levels, but I sincerely appreciate her challenges and guidance, and would like to live in a world where others do as well.
I'm going to admit: whenever someone is mainstream enough that Oprah endorses them, it usually prompts me to turn and run in the other direction. It's not that I don't like Oprah - it's that I prefer to carve my own path and avoid things that seem trendy. As a result, although I loved Brené Brown's Ted Talk on vulnerability when I saw it (around 2010), the fact that she got drafted as an Oprah darling in 2013 was a signal to me that she likely had jumped the shark, so I've avoided her for the last six years. (Yes, there's a lesson in here for me about bias.)
How fortunate for me that one of my clients was reading "Braving the Wilderness" and kept referencing it in our work together. I picked it up so I could better understand what was resonating for him - and in the process …
I'm going to admit: whenever someone is mainstream enough that Oprah endorses them, it usually prompts me to turn and run in the other direction. It's not that I don't like Oprah - it's that I prefer to carve my own path and avoid things that seem trendy. As a result, although I loved Brené Brown's Ted Talk on vulnerability when I saw it (around 2010), the fact that she got drafted as an Oprah darling in 2013 was a signal to me that she likely had jumped the shark, so I've avoided her for the last six years. (Yes, there's a lesson in here for me about bias.)
How fortunate for me that one of my clients was reading "Braving the Wilderness" and kept referencing it in our work together. I picked it up so I could better understand what was resonating for him - and in the process discovered that Brené Brown has managed to put words on the page for much of what I've been living in recent years.
This book is beyond an individual self-help book centered on the idea of belonging first to ourselves; it's a good guide for we can get back to a place of civil discourse and greater appreciation of what it is for us to all belong to the collective humanity on this planet.
And yes, now that I've overcome my initial prejudice, I'll happily dig into her other books to see what else my bias has denied me.
Dammit, who is this person and how does she know so much about the goings-on in my head? Why does she hit so hard, pierce so deeply? Why do I have such a hard time reading her oeuvre, and an even harder time admitting to it?
This is my second reading. My first, in October, I felt stunned and upset and even angry: at her observations in one paragraph, then angrier because often in the next paragraph she addressed the very counterargument I was mentally preparing, and she would very likely do so by confessing her own difficulty accepting her findings, which would ordinarily be disarming but not my first reading—I was too busy feeling embarrassed by my initial reaction. This time I was better prepared. So what does that mean? Should I recommend this book, but only if you skip your first reading and move directly on to the …
Dammit, who is this person and how does she know so much about the goings-on in my head? Why does she hit so hard, pierce so deeply? Why do I have such a hard time reading her oeuvre, and an even harder time admitting to it?
This is my second reading. My first, in October, I felt stunned and upset and even angry: at her observations in one paragraph, then angrier because often in the next paragraph she addressed the very counterargument I was mentally preparing, and she would very likely do so by confessing her own difficulty accepting her findings, which would ordinarily be disarming but not my first reading—I was too busy feeling embarrassed by my initial reaction. This time I was better prepared. So what does that mean? Should I recommend this book, but only if you skip your first reading and move directly on to the second?
Remarkably heavy stuff for such a light book. Many pages hit hard. Many are easy to skip or ignore—“oh, sure, that may be fine for her but my situation is different; that doesn’t apply to me.” Again, on second reading, one might be more open to the possibility that she knows what she’s writing about. I wonder what my third reading will be like.
I really don’t know who this book is written for. I’ve always been tribeless, never belonging in any sort of organized group. I’m used to the loneliness and yet have, through great good fortune, managed to find some pretty amazing people in this world to connect with deeply. I hesitantly put forth that Brown writes for the tribeless; that there are others of us out there, maybe more than I dare imagine. And she has some good (but difficult) words for us. If any of what I’ve said resonates with you, pick up this book. But make sure to only read it the second time.
I absolutely love Brené Brown. She inspires me with real talk to take a hard look at my life, my decisions, and own who I am. Sometimes I need a kick in the butt, and she's right there to give it to me. No sugar-coating things, just no bullshit, be the best person you can be regardless of the hand life dealt you. You are in charge.
Inspired yet? Probably not, because I'm not Brené so my words aren't as powerful. But grab the book, or better yet, the audio, and start making positive changes for yourself. You deserve it, friends. Life is short, so embrace the 168 hours you get every week and take charge of your destiny. Love you all. And so does Brené. 3.5 stars.
