High Conflict

Organized around several individuals' stories of intractable conflict (in local politics in California, in gang violence in Chicago, in post-rebel Colombia, in cultural exchange between US political factions) to relate to larger and smaller familiar scenes of us-vs-them in-group out-group binary simplification goaded by those who benefit from the conflict. For those looking for an answer to the larger problems, it is the same as for the smaller: active listening and complicating the narrative to give space and time for new perspectives. Yep.

Emotions are more contagious than any virus. You can catch them through stories, without any human contact.

An engaging and enlightening read. It was all the more impactful for me because I read in while in the middle of a conflict situation: I'm a figure skating fan, and the way the 2022 Olympics is going in terms of this sport... well, let's say it's bringing attention to all the darkest parts of it, and the entire fandom is on fire. It has certainly been an interesting experience, comparing what I see around me with the points this author makes in this book. I was able to immediately apply what I've read to some of hte heated discussions I've been a part of over the last week, and let me tell you, it's hard to disagree with the book on anything. The strategies outlined here were actually really helpful in handling those discussions, as well as detaching myself from the situation and simply observing: who is caught up in the high conflict? Who is tackling this as a healthy, productive conflict? What are the practical differences?
Speaking of which, I really liked how the author draws the line between "bad conflict" and "good conflict" and makes it clear that disagreeing is often all right and healthy. I also enjoyed the emphasis on listening and understanding that doesn't equal agreeing. Overall, I've found a lot of useful tips and lessons here and taken a lot of notes. I often struggle in situations where a lot of emotion is involved, and I can see how these strategies will be super helpful in managing that sort of struggles, even outside of the really big heated conflicts.

The one reason that I'm not giving the book full 5 stars is that I felt it was somewhat chaotically organized. The author uses a number of people's stories to illustrate the points she makes, and sometimes the way the book keept jumping between a bunch of them distracted me from the point itself.