Burnout

This was a 3.75 for me. I did overall really like this book--it has Nagoski's signature voice (and literally, too, since I listed to the audiobook!) that feels both knowledgeable and playful, and sympathetic without being entirely cloying. I gleaned a lot of useful information from this about how to actually manage stress in ways that are lasting... and also had to acknowledge that a lot of the stuff that I choose to carry isn't really mine to worry about. It's wild hearing a phrase like "human giver syndrome" and hearing it described and going "oh, so, like, my whole personality? coooool cool cool cool." Would recommend this to anyone who constantly feels like they're drowning. It's a self-help book for sure, but backed by research and with many actionable solutions and useful examples.

I think the only part I didn't like was the bit re: body positivity, not because it was wrong or bad, but just because I'm a fat liberationist and have Done The Reading. So that section felt like being taken back to preschool and honestly felt like it stretched on way too long. I'm sure it's helpful and useful for others! All of that was just stuff I knew already and left me bored and ready to get to the rest of it. That and having to hear "patriarchy (ugh)" with the "ugh" said aloud every time the word came up kind of made me cringe. We can use the big girl words! It's okay!!! (But also this book was published in 2019, truly A Different Time.)

One other downside: the audiobook has music clearly designed to elicit emotional reactions at points, which I did not love.

But these are very minor gripes. The centering of the human need for community and connection is, in many ways, what makes this book stand out. Absolutely worth a read, especially if you are a perpetually exhausted woman.

This book is filled with good messages. It's curious how we disconnect ourselves from our bodies and ignore signs of stress and burnout. I loved the idea of "ending the stress cycle" and learning the differences between the stressors and the stress itself. Exercise (aka moving our bodies) is one of the best ways to discharge and close the stress cycle. With this book, I realized how and why exercise is essential to my well-being. I always knew but I never linked it directly to the stress cycle.

Also, it was interesting to learn about the "human-giver syndrome": especially common in women where you think you have to sacrifice yourself for the well-being of others. It's the opposite of "putting your mask on first before assisting others". So, rest and sleep are extremely important. It seems obvious but in the middle of our "business", we forget the basics. This was a good reminder to go back to daily soothing routines. We need buffers to recharge.

Mixed feelings! I loved Come As You Are and I expected this to be even more insightful and relatable.

But, it left me kind of cold, and I was even rolling my eyes at some points... I'm not sure I buy the main premise, which is that you can be carrying decades worth of "uncompleted" stress cycles in your body. I mean, sure, it's good to do something physical to let your body feel that you've escaped the lion that's chasing you in these modern times when the lion is, like, a stressful email. But the idea that there's a debit of "uncompleted" cycles that build up over years seems a bit far-fetched to me. I guess maybe for people who literally never exercise or relax at all?

I do believe the bits about how exercise is good, sleep is important, being overweight isn't necessarily unhealthy, and social connections are vital... but none of that is news.

They describe burnout as being rooted in "Human Giver Syndrome", which is to say, the core idea in our society that givers (usually women) are supposed to sacrifice themselves in order to support the actualization of "human beings" (usually men). I buy that this is a thing that many women feel, but personally it does not get at the core of my feelings of burnout. (I relate far more to the description of burnout that talks about lack of control over outcomes, lack of meaning, etc.)

I do relate to the talk about perfectionism and self-compassion; but that's addressed here in a pretty cursory way. I've read other works that were far more helpful in that area (Brene Brown comes to mind).