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Agatha nodded. “I…see. You don’t meet many mad social scientists.” Mittlemind snorted. “Of course not! All the funding goes towards building those flashy clanks and death rays! It’s so unfair! “I told the Baron: ‘Give me a thousand orphans, a hedge maze, and enough cheese and I can give you the Empire of the Polar Lords within three years!’ But noooo…”

— Agatha H. and the voice of the castle by Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio (A girl genius novel -- 3) (67%)

They turned a corner and saw a gigantic wooden door, labeled with tarnished brass letters that spelled out “BIBLIOTHECA.” To either side of the door stood a statue of a solid - looking young lady carrying an axe in one hand and a large lantern in the other. Evidently the artist had thought that these accoutrements were stylish enough that the ladies could skip any other semblance of clothing.

— Agatha H. and the voice of the castle by Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio (A girl genius novel -- 3) (42%)

Unless one is raised in the minion mindset, it is difficult to understand the allure of the lifestyle. Outside observers merely see put - upon underlings who live and work in insanely dangerous positions, whose lives are ruled by dictatorial psychopaths who have little regard for their lives or sanity. Acclimatized minions realize that everyone on Earth lives under these strictures, they just don’t fool themselves. With clarity comes freedom.

— Agatha H. and the voice of the castle by Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio (A girl genius novel -- 3) (39%)

When one dealt with the inner workings of the Empire for any length of time, one became a bit gun - shy about using phrases like “unbelievable.” 4

4 A perusal of archived Empire records reveal that other red flags were: “Impossible,” “Illogical,” “He wouldn’t dare,” and the all - time favorite: “…couldn’t possibly be that stupid”

— Agatha H. and the voice of the castle by Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio (A girl genius novel -- 3) (4%)

“A s we passed through the last of the great Iron Gates and approached Mechanicsburg for the first time, the Bishop was struck anew by the grandeur of the surrounding cliffs, the majesty of the encircling mountains, and the awe - inspiring fury of the River Dyne as it roared far beneath the Bridge of Thorns. As we crossed toward the town, he rhapsodized at such length that I feared it would take a double dose of poppy - juice tea to settle him in for the night. The more strategically inclined Captain Van der Vheer pointed to the same features and glumly explained why, for the last thousand years, the Valley of the Heterodynes deserved its reputation as unconquerable. I am already resigned to never leaving this place, but I take some small comfort that, at the very least, my last memories of Earth will be filled with some of God’s finest landscapes.” — Excerpt from the journal “The Building of the Red Cathedral, or Why God Now Hates Us” by Brother Martanus, “The Unkillable.” Located in the Papal Library of Banned and Forbidden Books, Avignon, France

— Agatha H. and the voice of the castle by Phil Foglio, Kaja Foglio (A girl genius novel -- 3) (Page 1)