Malte reviewed Opening Up by Tristan Taormino
Review of 'Opening up' on 'Goodreads'
4 stars
Admittedly, this review is quite possibly too too unfair. It just felt like the most fitting thing to do. So the thing is: There is something at once relieving and disappointing about books on polyamory. The relieving part is to come into contact with something else than the depressing realities of serial monogamy, to read stories of people who tried to be sincere with each, to read stories of many different ways of loving each other really (this is the strength of the book, it shows diversity and that love can be many things). The disappointing thing is this general feeling of schematism, of overly self-conscious individual 'choosing' a way of life instead of life choosing them. You get the feeling that people who practice 'polyamory' are on some kind of identity building project, trying to make a philosophical point or wanting to find truth in a manual with tidy …
Admittedly, this review is quite possibly too too unfair. It just felt like the most fitting thing to do. So the thing is: There is something at once relieving and disappointing about books on polyamory. The relieving part is to come into contact with something else than the depressing realities of serial monogamy, to read stories of people who tried to be sincere with each, to read stories of many different ways of loving each other really (this is the strength of the book, it shows diversity and that love can be many things). The disappointing thing is this general feeling of schematism, of overly self-conscious individual 'choosing' a way of life instead of life choosing them. You get the feeling that people who practice 'polyamory' are on some kind of identity building project, trying to make a philosophical point or wanting to find truth in a manual with tidy little labels for any kind of 'variety' of non-monogamy you desire. It's as if a bunch of sociologist came together and decided to love each other and then categorize everything they did. My soul is hurt a little bit every time a form of life like this is put into such tidy boxes. Can we not just accept the fact that serial monogamy is morally bankrupt, that monogamy is not a realistic option any more (if it ever was) and just take it from there ... Try to live in this world and love each other in a thousand ways without some sociologist's names. Where is fate, where is this thing called love that is not so much a choice as an abandon, something that takes me and which I can either embrace or betray?
