The Will to Change

Men, Masculinity, and Love

Paperback, 188 pages

English language

Published Dec. 21, 2004 by Washington Square Press.

ISBN:
978-0-7434-5608-1
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OCLC Number:
57305027

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4 stars (24 reviews)

Everyone needs to love and be loved -- even men. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways that patriarchal culture keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. In The Will to Change, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they are -- whatever their age, marital status, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks addresses the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society, in new and challenging ways. She believes men can find the way to spiritual unity by getting back in touch with the emotionally open part of themselves -- and lay claim to the rich and rewarding inner lives that have historically been …

6 editions

Review of 'The Will to Change' on 'Goodreads'

3 stars

I appreciate the compassion bell hooks has for men in this book. She strongly emphasizes the ways in which patriarchy hurts men, too, and advocates for reaching out to them, not closing them off. I also thought she did a great job pointing out the ways in which some women prop up the patriarchy as well, with their children and with their partners.

However, I have the same complaints about this book that I have about many nonfiction books - this was organizationally odd and very repetitive. The chapter titles didn’t always seem to correspond to the contents of the chapters or were so vague as to be unhelpful. There was also a lot of overlap between chapters and similar ground covered. This book isn’t described as a collection of essays or speeches collected after the fact, but it has that feel. After the first few chapters you’ve basically gotten …

Eye opening

5 stars

This is the kind of book that both articulates what you felt in an eloquent way, while also opening your eyes to things you haven't thought about that much. I feel that this is specially true if you're a man reading this.

I don't know much about "feminism for men" books; this was one of the few at the time of publishing.

The prose is beautiful. As I read it, scenes of my childhood and adolescence came to my mind, moments that I can perfectly recall that shaped my patriarchal understanding of what it is to be a man (and a woman). What we as men are encouraged to do or not to do.

As the book progresses, it questions my current understanding of relating to oneself and to others, aiming at challenging patriarchal values that are so harmful for everyone, regardless of gender.

Highly recommended for any man that …

Constructive

4 stars

The book is successfully tailored to a male audience. It invests way more than I expected in explaining why feminism is for men and why misandrist feminism isn't the only feminism that exists. It didn't bother me and I do think it helps setting up for success the most skeptic reader for the rest of the book. Bell Hooks also puts quite a limelight on female-on-male violence/neglect that arises from patriarchy, which was I also didn't expect but I've come to understand.

The later half of the book is increasingly repetitive and raises a few hypothesis that are food for thought but are really not factual (yet, maybe). Still, considering the lofty goal of disinfecting the male brain of dominance masculinity and everything else patriarchy related, I think the book is appropriately repetitive. Each iteration has a slight different seasoning to it anyway, so if the reader has the patience …

The Will to Change

3 stars

Perplexing generalisations mixed with solid if not repetitive analyses of masculinity in the wake of centuries of patriarchal cultural propaganda. hooks calls for feminist blueprints for transforming masculinity including shedding the model of domination that frames all relationships as power struggles, extricating oneself from violently fragile identities yoked to the pursuit of external power, and building a whole, introspective, expressive, receptive self in partnership and interdependency with the earth and our communities.

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Subjects

  • Masculinity
  • Men -- Identity
  • Self-esteem in men
  • Men -- Psychology
  • Sex role
  • Intimacy (Psychology)

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